Conor Maynard Imagines

Urgent

"It's urgent," Jack's words from the phone call echoed through your head while you drove to the hospital as quickly as possible. Surely Jack was just being overdramatic as usual, nothing that bad could have happened to Conor since you left him a couple of hours ago.

You played back the events of this morning trying to pick out any tiny detail about him that seemed different to any other day but you came up with nothing. He had the same big smile plastered on his face that he normally did, he was singing as he always did and he told joke after joke just to the laugh he always told you he loved to hear.

As soon as you entered the emergency department and spotted Jack you ran to him, "Where is he?" you asked frantically, desperate to reassure yourself that he was fine.

As soon as you saw his lifeless body lying in the hospital bed you felt your entire world crash down around you. He wasn't fine, in fact, he was nowhere near fine. He had wires trailing from practically every part of his body that was visible, his skin was the kind of pale that you wouldn't get with a common cold and if it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of his chest you'd be convinced that he was already dead.

You clasped his hand in yours and held it to your lips, kissing his cold skin softly. "Please don't die," you whimpered, "don't you dare fucking die, Conor Maynard!"

You desperately tried to convince yourself that this wasn't your fault, that there was no way you could've been able to tell that his depression was so serious but you still felt a painful tightness of guilt in your chest.

The room was silent except the noise from the machines, something that was unusual to find when with Conor. You'd normally be begging him to be quiet so you could get some peace but now you'd give anything to hear him humming a tune or telling a stupid joke. You thought back to when you left this morning trying to remember if you told him that you loved him, hoping that you didn't waste what was possibly your last chance to say it.

"Conor, I don't know if you can hear me, fuck I really hope you can hear me because I need you to listen to me, you need to stay strong okay? I know you can pull through this because you're so strong! I need you Conor, you may not know this because I never fucking told you, but I wish I did now, you're the only thing that makes my life worthwhile."

Watching his lifeless body broke your heart, the man you loved was hurting so badly and you never noticed. You couldn't tell that he was hurting so badly that he decided to try and take his own life and now you'd lost your chance to try and save him, all that was left to do was hope and pray.

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