The Gangleader's Little Princess

CHAPTER 19

We both had a staring contest for approximately five minutes or something before he looked at me horrendously. 

"What?"

"Take me along with you tonight." He chuckled lightly while ruffling my hair.

"That was funny princess you almost got me." I look at him humorlessly as he got sober from his laughter.

"I'm not joking right now Jason. I'm serious, I want to join you on your mission tonight."

"Are you even in your right sense princess? Do you have any idea what you're talking about?" I nod my head immediately.

"I know what I'm talking about. I've been thinking about this past week and I want to have a taste of the world you live in."

"This world I live in is just dangerous. The corrupted world is too much for an innocent soul like you." He took his hand from my head and cupped my cheeks. "It is better you stay away from the evil and keep being the innocent happy girl you always were."

"How can you accept me to be the same carefree happy girl like before when you, yourself were the one who literally dragged me in this world?" I yelled at him without realizing what have I told him; when my mind fully register what came out of my mouth it was too late to take it back.

"I know and I regret it with every cell of my body. That's why I am trying to make it right and prevent you from getting near any evilness." 

"But what if I say I don't want you to  protect me from this bad world instead I want you to hold my hand and show me the world you live in. The world where there's no mercy, no love but just hate and revenges." I offer my hand for him to take it. For a moment I thought he was actually gonna say yes but just when our hands were going to touch he shook his head and got up from the bed.

"Jason! You can't always expect me to stay in my bubble and pretend that everything is OK in this world. Sooner or later I have to face the real world right, so why not now?"

"Princess, I already regret my decision of kidnapping you. Please don't make me regret it more."

"You won't I swear just think of it like a lesson. The lesson to give me a snippet of what the world is actually like. I know even if I grow up my dad will always be there looking after me and treat me like life is only rainbows and ponies but I don't want to be like those ignorant kids who always expect their daddies to serve them everything in silver plates and neglect the world that has young kids do dreadful things." 

"I can't do this princess; no matter how much you plead I can't do this."

"Why?"

"Because I can see it." He cupped my cheeks and looked straight in my eyes as if he was looking at my soul. "I can see the terror in your eyes because of whatever happened that time. You can try to fake that those two events didn't effect you as much as you want but I can always see right through your eyes."

"Wh... What are you talking about?" I stuttered avoiding his gaze before he titled my face in his direction. 

"You're scared of me; and don't try to deny it. I have been keeping my eyes on you properly this past few days and all I can see how you flinch and get nervous every time one of us use knife in the kitchen or take something out of our pocket. You already have build some kind of fear towards me, I have no interest risking the little trust you have on us by taking you to today's mission with me." I was gasping for air suddenly feeling the atmosphere getting hotter in the room. He knew it, he knew it all along while I thought I was good at hiding my feelings.

"Take some rest you need it." He ruffled my hair before walking away. 

"Stop! I agree I am scared of you guys like who wouldn't after witnessing you kill two people. I'm so afraid that even while sleeping at night I can't help but be petrified of the little sound I hear in the room. I'm so scared that I feel like I could die any second because of the paranoia. I want it to stop and to end this I don't want to be scared of you anymore." I wiped the tears that were streaming down my face without my notice. 

"And you think taking you with me tonight can you help to lessen it." I nod my head as he gripped my shoulder hard.

"If I observe you guys murdering, doing anything illegal every time maybe I'll get used to it and finally become fearless like you guys."  Right now I was seriously out of my mind and even Jason could tell this.

"Princess, this is not how it works. You don't become fearless you just keep on living your whole life with the baggage of your sins and nightmares. There's no such thing as being fearless you walk with your fears. You have no idea how hard it is for us to live like this, I don't want you to go through the same thing I did."

"So you are saying you aren't fearless like how everyone thinks of you."

"No princess there's no such person who doesn't have fear in this world. Everyone has one or two in them and it can be anything. It's just that we grow to walk with the fear and adjust our life with it."

"Then make me, make me the person who can adapt her life with fears."

"I can't princess, if I teach you how to be that kind of person you'll only walk with bad memories and I don't want you to live such kind of life." 

"I know a boy who was more young than me and had to face this world without his parents by his side. If he can do it than why can't I?"

"The circumstances with me was different, princess. I had no choice but to face but you have a choice and--

"And I choose to go with you. Please just once, this is will the first and last time I'll go with you. I wanna see how did you get your life through your fears. I wanna see the world my dad nor my Nana has never talk about and I want you to show me. I want to taste the real world for once. I want to know how exactly do people live outside my fairy-tale world and I know you can show it to me." Jason closed his eyes as I held his hand in mine tightly.

"Please Jason just for once. You won't say no to your princess, would you?" He finally opened his eyes and stared at my pleading eyes before giving in.

"OK fine, but on one condition. If you feel uncomfortable you just tell me don't tolerate the place if you don't like it, just because I'd be doing some business there."

"B--but-- that would be rude to leave some business matter in the middle."

"I don't care princess you are my number one priority and if you don't like it there and want me to take you home I'd do it." I just smiled at him like an idiot while he raised his brow at me with an amused smile. "What?"

"Nothing." I shook my head the smile still plastered on my face.

"Why don't you rest for now? Who knows how long we will take to finish the business?"

"And you?"

"Me? I have to go check some few things for tonight." I nod my head and gave him a small 'OK'. After he went to do his stuff I went inside the bathroom to get a shower first then as commanded by Jason Miller I took some rest for tonight.