I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 33

It's been a week now since the big pregnancy scare and you have pretty much been imprisoned to bed rest the whole time. Not necessarily courtesy of the hospital, no, it it's Bucky who is so insistent.

It's frustrating, especially now that you're starting to feel better. He won't even let you get up and make a cup of coffee. You feel useless. But he is just so worried and you know that he is only doing it because he loves you.

Trying to stay positive is definitely hard. There is this big what if looming over your heads that you can't shake. Even though you weren't expecting two, now that you know that there was going to be two it's hard to imagine there not being two. However, your just happy and lucky enough to still have one baby on the way.

You and Bucky have made a pact with each other to not blame yourselves and if it starts to really get to you you will talk to each other about it. You've already told the kids because you know that not telling them will just blow up in your faces later on and to be honest they didn't really understand anyway. Isla was just happy that there's still a baby coming and Luke just said that as long as it's a boy he won't be upset.

In other not so good news, your morning sickness seems to be back. The doctors said that it's nothing to worry about, it's just your hormones rebalancing again because of the loss of a baby, but that doesn't stop it from being annoying. Getting up to vomit every so many hours isn't a fun time.

This morning when you wake Bucky is by your side, although you know that he's already been out for an early morning training session, you heard him leave. As much as he wants to be with you twenty four seven, you insisted that he doesn't worry about you and gets on with things because it distracts him, otherwise the guilt that you know he's hiding will just eat away at him.

Since the mission his nightmares have come back again, he has them every night again but they don't seem so bad, or they're different at least; not so much about himself but it sounds more like he's loosing you or something.

As you start to come to you can feel him playing with your hair, you sigh sleepily and flutter your eyelids open to see him propped up on his pillows smiling down at you adoringly.

"Hey," you mumble contently.

"Morning beautiful," he whispers.

You wrap your arms around his waist and pull yourself up against his side, well as close as you can get with that blimmen bump; as much as you love what's inside it it really is a pain.

"How was your training?" You ask, your voice gravely with sleep as you rest your head on his chest, his body heat radiating onto you.

"Good, I went for a run."

"How far?"

"10 miles," he says like it's no big deal.

"In twenty minutes?!" You exclaim and sit up, looking at him like he's crazy.

"Not my best I know. I wasn't really feeling up to scratch today." He shrugs.

"You're unbelievable you know that?" You huff and shake your head, lying back down.

"How are you feeling?" He asks once he stops chuckling.

"Pretty good, I didn't throw up last night so I'm not too tired and I don't feel nauseous. And I actually feel like there's some energy in the tank!" You say jokingly. "So can I get up today?" You ask before he has a chance to respond.

"Are you sure you feel up to it? I don't want you to go too hard too fast or anything." He frowns.

"Buck please." You groan but cut yourself short when you feel butterflies in your stomach, letting out a gasp instead of continuing.