"Take it slow, tell me all how you've grown." Daniel Howell laughed as his boyfriend Phil came in from work
"Dan stop being so you. For me, could we all reminisce?" he begged, his bright blue eyes sparkling with happieness as the brown haired man shook head.
Three years went by, and Phil got into a car accident, changing the course of Dan's life in a single second.
"Here's a pen, make a list, fill it full of all the things I've missed." Dan said softly three years later to his friend Amethyst, who let out a soft sigh.
"Come on, we're going on a fucking drive." she said, and dragged him to the car, and then to the graveyard nearby, where a small but accusatory tombstone stood.
"Now, talk." she said stiffly, and then marched back to the car to wait.
"It's been lonely Phil. Without you. I mean, fuck, there were some days when I could barely drive past the school, without stopping to think of you." he said quietly, wiping a stray tear from his cheek.
"How we used to act the fool, but worst of all I wish I'd called at least a thousand times or more. But I was terrified of what you would say, that you would tell me everything I've been missing." he choked out, his body bending forward as sobs wracked his frame.
"If a picture is all that I have, I can picture the times that we won't get back. And hey, if I picture it now it don't seem so bad." Dan said softly later that night, a faded picture in his hands as he looked at the stars overhead.
"Either way, I still wish you were here." he whispered, turning away from the window as Amethyst walked into his room with a small smile.
"I know you don't want to hear this Dan, but everything's meant to b-"
"Don't. Amethyst don't you dare say everything's meant to be, cause you know it's not what I believe." he snapped, and she sighed.
"I know. And sometimes, I can't help but think that it should've been me. Then you would still have Phil." she said, voice cracking as Phil's name crossed her lips.
I still wish you were here
"I'm here thinking back on the days when we all used to say, "I know anywhere's better than here." Dan said with a drunken smile later that day to the tombstone, tears trekking down his cheeks against his will.
"We were right, but so wrong. I remember falling in love with you in the back of the class, where we grew up too fast, you were living life like there's nothing to fear." he choked out, his throat closing as he thought about the call he received that changed his life.
"But you weren't prepared for the ice on the road, driving home all alone." he said, and suddenly a hand was on his shoulder, and he turned to see Phil standing behind him.
"I was singing along to a song from three summers ago." Phil said with a smile, and Dan gave him a pained smile in return.
"The one that made you remember it, yeah?"
"Yeah." Phil sighed, and Dan nodded once.
"Now I'll always remember it, no matter what as the song that your life ended with." he said with a small sob, and Phil nodded once.
"I know."
"A picture is all that I have, to picture the times that we won't get back." Dan began, and Phil silenced him with a kiss.
"Dan, honestly. If I picture it now it don't seem so bad." he smiled, and Dan looked into Phil's eyes before shaking his head.
"Either way, I still wish you were here. And you'll hate this, but I can't help but think that it should've been me." Dan murmured, looking up to find nothing but the autumn sky above him.
"And they say you're in a better place, but a better place is right here with me." he continued, tears making a path down his face as footsteps sounded behind him, Amethyst placing a hand on his shoulder.
"He's in a better place Dan." she whispered, and he turned with a smirk.
"Too bad it's not what I believe." he snapped, and then sighed at her raised eyebrows.
"Cause a picture is all that I have to remind me that he's never coming back." he muttered and she nodded, pulling him into a hug.
"If I picture it now it just makes me sad." she sighed, and he pulled away.
"And right now I just wish he were here." he sobbed, and she pulled him away towards the car, where he looked out the window to see Phil standing by the tree, a smile on his lips as he waved goodbye before vanishing.
In the end I just wish you were here.
