"My biggest fear is coming true, cause Mother I'm becoming you." Johnathon Sullivan said with a spiteful laugh as he pulled a needle out of his arm, vision growing hazy at the edges. He had just sat back when his phone began to ring, and with a groan he answered it to hear the voice of his cousin Salem.
"Yo man. How ya holding up?" He asked, and Johnathon laughed once.
"Great. I'm great Say."
"You don't have to lie to me Than." The boy snapped, and Johnathon's eyes widened at how similar his cousin sounded to his Aunt Cole.
"Well, Say, one day the truth is gonna hang me like a noose, hang us all really."
"I don't mind that Than, but you need to come home. Lee isn't doing...well. She wants to see you." Salem said with a small quiver in his voice, and Jonathon nodded.
"Okay." He said, disconnecting the call.
The next day another call came in, and Than let out a growl before answering.
"What?"
"Come the fuck home." A voice snarled, and he identified it as Salem's little sister Quinn after a moment. "Come home and say what? Mama you are an addict and you passed it down to me?" He snapped, and she laughed coldly once.
"Who are you to judge?" She asked, and his eyes drifted to the mantle where a framed photo of his husband Beck sat, next to it a picture of their daughter.
"Your right. Who am I to cast a stone, I'm the one with a daughter I never see." He sighed, and Quinn sighed with him.
"I'm sorry Than. But look, I sent you bus fare, so you can get here. Non negotiable." She said, and then hung up, leaving him to ponder in silence until the mail was delivered, his bus fare going to buy more things to fill his needle.
I would give it back
To be a decent human being
"What's the use?" He asked the next day, his sister Theo letting out a angry sigh.
"It doesn't matter about your feelings right now. What matters is mom, sick, in pain, and wanting her son. I called your parole officer and he'll be there to get you in a few minutes." She said angrily, and he hung up before opening the window and hopping out, running towards the drug center of town. He had just reached the building when a car screeched to a stop beside him, doors opening to show his father and uncle.
"Than please." His father pleaded, black hair streaked with white to Jonathan's surprise.
"It doesn't matter, if I make it through this." Than said softly, and Jimmy shook his head before nodding to Matt who sighed before pulling out his phone.
"So drag me through the mud again and crucify my name. Your name to be quite fucking frank." A voice said from behind him, and he turned to find himself face to face with his Aunt Cole, her eyes burning with anger.
"Laugh at me Cole, tell me how I should be ashamed." He snarled, and her blue grey eyes darkened as she grabbed his arm and began dragging him with surprising strength to the car.
"No, you don't get to take out all your pain on me, on your entire family like we're the ones to blame." She snarled back, voice dripping with venom as she shoved him into the car and jumped in behind him.
"I don't mind, any of this." Than said blankly as they crossed the California state line, Cole shooting him a withering look.
"What's the use?" He continued, and then slumped down in his seat, picking at the frayed edge of his sleeve.
"It doesn't matter, if I win or lose does it?" He asked quietly, and Cole looked at him slowly.
"You don't belong there Than. No one does." She said softly, and he shrugged.
"But I don't mind."
I don't mind
"If an Oscar was the factor, you would win one for best actor." Beck Sullivan said sourly when Jonathan stepped out of the car, looking up at the home he grew up in with a sense of nostalgia so strong he would have fallen if Cole weren't with him.
"You know what I love about you?" Than asked.
"You can forgive for all the madness that I put us through, but won't pretend it never happened." He said softly, then walked forward, stopping when Beck rushed him in a hug. After a moment Than pulled back, walking past his husband and into the home, giving Quinn a hug when she approached, baby on hip and a wedding ring on her finger.
"Who's the lucky guy?" He asked as Cole breezed past, grabbing water and a bottle of pills from the kitchen before disappearing towards the bedrooms.
"Danger, as if it would be anyone else." She said neutrally, fixing him with a look.
"Theo and mom are back with Lee. If you have anything to say, today is the day." She said with a small smile, walking past him to the livingroom.
Than took a deep breath and then went to Lee and Jimmy's room, stopping in the doorway at the sight of her. Cheeks gaunt and hollow, tubes running out of her arms and eyes half closed was Lee, head turned towards Cole as she handed her a pill. For the first time he noticed the wrinkles on his aunts face, as well as the grey shot through her hair as she helped Lee sit up to get a drink of water.
"Mom?" He asked quietly, stepping forward and taking her hand, barely aware of Theo sitting next to her bed.
"Than? Baby, your home." Lee breathed, her blue eyes dull and lifeless as she looked up at him.
"Yeah, I'm home mama. Are you okay?" He asked, stopping when she took a hold of his arm and flipped it up, tears flooding down her cheeks at the track marks littered there.
"Don't do this Than. Please don't ever do this to yourself." She whispered, and he leant down, kissing her forehead softly.
"I won't mama."
Three days later Lee Shadows gave in to the cancer that had invaded her body. The day of her funeral arrived and all the children gathered out front, Johnathan with a suitcase at his feet.
"Ready?" Quinn asked from beside him, using the hand not holding Danger's to grab his.
"As I'll ever be." He said softly, squeezing her hand as she began to cry again, running to where Jimmy stood smoking to engulf him in a hug. When he turned, Than would've sworn there were fresh tears on his fathers face. Finally they all arrived at the graveyard, the service finished, and Theo stood by her brothers side at their mothers grave, the two holding onto each other as they looked down.
" My biggest fear is coming true, cause mother, I've become you." He whispered, then picked up his bag and walked to where Cole stood, ready to help him start a new chapter of his life.
Long overdue i know, but this is for my best friend hatter_jac
