¡Fem Tyler!
"I love to sleep, cause I pretend that I'm dead." Ty Joseph said with a sigh as she looked at the ceiling, eyes purposely directed away from Josh Dun.
"And let me guess, you hate waking up?" He asked, and she nodded.
"Yeah, cause it's hard to forget that I've lost all control of this life that I've held so dear." She whispered, and he rolled his eyes.
"Remember what I said when I called you?" She asked suddenly, and he nodded once slowly.
You said that were waiting 'for the bus but I'm not on the bench, I'm just spread across the ground making friends with cement, and I'm hoping and praying that the bus won't miss me when it comes my way.'" He said softly, and she offered a weak smile.
"Well I made a few jokes but they said they weren't funny, around your family. And with that, I tried to force a smile but they said it was ugly. I did as you wanted, I tried to make a friend but no one was a friend to me." Josh said with a small groan, and Ty shot her eyes at him, narrowing them slightly.
"I poured my heart to a girl and it went on the floor, and when I asked her what she wanted and she said she wanted more." He spat, and she sat up to look at him, his dark mocha eyes wearing a thin sheen of tears.
"And worst of all Ty, when I tried to find a lover, all I found was an enemy." He said with a small sigh, and got off the bed.
"Well now I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Even when I don't make a sound but my eyes scream out help." Josh said a few days later as he brushed his teeth in the bathroom, Ty's face appearing in the doorway seconds later.
"What?"
"And standing here, I start to struggle to hold myself back from thrusting my head straight through the fucking glass." He said, gritting his teeth and looking away, wiping his mouth off absently with the back of his hand.
"And I'm tired of falling for girls that don't care, constantly breaking my back to try to make them aware that I'm more than depressed and their time won't be wasted." He said, wiping his eyes before turning around and looking Ty in the eyes, hers wide and questioning.
"But I am just a broken boy that no one wants to play with." He spat out, and then brushed by her out of the bathroom to the bedroom.
"Now I'm lost in this hole and I'm sure I am stuck." Josh said the next week, and Ty raised her eyes warily.
"Let me guess, you can't run away?" She asked, and he shook his head.
"No, cause I'm lazy as fuck. So instead, I sit on the floor as I gather my thoughts. But they're full of broken promises that only piss me off." He said, his eyes locked on hers as she looked at the ground between her feet.
"Well I lost control when I was only a boy." He said softly, and she shook her head slowly.
"Well, the world taught me angst when I deserved joy." She said back, and he looked at her shoes, a pair that were ratty and worn.
"Either way, now I'm breaking down as I struggle to breathe. 'Cause I believe in a god who won't believe in me." He finished, then sat down heavily on the couch.
"Now I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself." Josh said weakly a few weeks later, his eyes watery and murky even to him as he looked into the scratched mirror in his hotel bathroom.
"I start to struggle to hold myself back, from thrusting my head straight through the fucking glass." He continued, speaking aloud as a tear fell down his face, streaking his cheeks.
"I'm tired of falling for girls that don't care." He said, unaware of the door opening behind him until Ty was standing next to him, a hand on his forearm.
"Josh, stop breaking your back to try to make them aware." She whispered, and he tore his arm away from her touch almost as if she burned him.
"No. I'm more than depressed and their time won't be wasted." He said vehemently, and then shook his head, letting a sarcastic laugh bubble out of his throat.
"At least that's what I'd like to do. And believe. But I am just a broken boy that no one wants to play with."
