"You never liked this sweater." Cole Shadows whispered into the silence of her son's room, a large blue sweater in her fists.
"You always said it never really fit you right and it itched too much. You hated it, and I know you wouldn't want me to, but I think I'll keep it. I mean, I should keep it." she whispered, and then she saw the walls fade and the colors brighten as a 5 year old Salem ran into the room.
"Cole, why do you have that thing?" her sisters voice said from the door, and she spoke without looking away from where Salem sat.
"Cause it still makes me think of him, and that little boy I knew in the bedroom down the hall."
Leee turned away, and then found herself in her son Johnathan's room, her eyes fixing themselves on a small nightlight in the wall that was dusty and corroded with age.
"Mom?" a voice asked, and she turned to see Johnathan and sighed, pointing at the light.
"I remember those. When you were in the bedroom down the hall, with Say, I got you Ninja Turtle night lights for protection." she whispered, and his eyes softened as he stepped to unplug it.
"Don't. You used to say they kept the bad guys far away, remember?" she asked, and he nodded
"Keep it, we're gonna need something to protect us from bad guys now more than ever." she smiled, and then walked out of the room.
"Remember when I surprised you with that comic book collection?" a voice asked Johnathan, and he turned to see Cole in the doorway, and he gave a smile.
"Yeah, got me way into X-Men." he grinned, and Lee walked past Cole and sent a look.
"Next Halloween, I dressed you up like Wolverine." she laughed, and for a moment the
three of them smiled, lost in memories.
Remember?
"It seems like only yesterday you were five years old and you made me decorate your ceiling, but with glow stars on the ceiling you could count instead of sheep." Lee sighed that night to Than, and he nodded with a grin.
"The nights I couldn't you always seemed to know what to do."
"I'm your mother, so I always knew which song to sing to get you right to sleep." she laughed, and then looked at the ground by her feet.
"Than, I would do anything to make you happy. Anything at all. You know that don't you?" she asked, and he squeezed her hand gently.
"I know."
"Anything for my boy in the bedroom down the hall." she whispered back, sitting outside after Than had went inside. Just when she was getting up, Cole walked out with a ciggarette in hand.
"Hey." she offered, and Lee shook her head before waving her sister over.
"Thinking again?" Lee asked, and Cole nodded.
"Yeah, it's funny now. The way we went to battle every evening after dinner." she whispered, and Lee noticed for the first time the dark circles beneath her sisters eyes.
"Get a coat and a flashlight. We're gonna go see Salem." Lee said suddenly, and didn't Cole a chance to reply as they got into the car and drove to the cemetery nearby. They pulled in, and both took a breath before heading to a stark white tombstone that stuck up from the earth like a beacon.
"I'm sorry. I thought I knew some way that I'd get through to you, even when I didn't." Cole whispered, tears slipping down her face.
"We fought a war where no one walked away a winner, 'cause every day you pulled a little more away. That should have been my big alarm." she sighed, sitting on the ground beside him.
"So I tried the counselors and the clinics and all the other cures a mother tries." she choked out, his face looming in her head amother triess she blinked away tears.
"And I can hear you asking why, and all I can say is...is 'cause maybe they could take away that anger in your eyes." she said softly, and then pulled Lee down next to her, hardly aware that her sister was crying with her.
Anything for my boy in
The bedroom down the hall
"Cole, I know how..hard this is. You try to give your kid the world, give him everything you've got. And it didn't...work." she said with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"What if I gave all I could, every single piece, and I thought it was enough? Just guaranteed that it was, but now I find that it was not?" she asked, and then shook her head and put her head in Lee's shoulder as she cried.
"Did I let you down?" Cole asked, her eyes wet as she stared at her son's name carved in granite.
"No mama, you didn't." a voice whispered, and she let sobs wrack her body at the sound.
"Let's go." she said to Lee, and together they walked to the car before heading home. They stepped in and Lee went to Johnathan's room, snapping on the light because she knew he was awake.
"What else can I do? Please tell me Than, cause your pulling away and I cant take losing you." she whispered, and he rolled over to face her with puffy eyes.
"Nothing. You do enough."
"Everything I ever did, I did it all for you. You and Theo." she muttered, and then kissed his forehead before sliding out of the room and going to her room.
Anything to make you happy
Anything at all
"Mom? Where are you?" Cole's daughter Quinn yelled, and Cole sniffed before calling back.
"In the bedroom down the hall!" she said, and Quinn came in and squeezed her mothers hand before looking around at the boxes that littered the space.
"Packing?" she asked, the words squeezing themselves out of her throat as her eyes passed across the room.
"No, I think I'll wait another day to pack these boxes." she replied, pushing Quinn into the hallway.
"Why wait?"
"'Cause once I'm through, then I'm left with just one thing to do." Cole sighed, stepping out and closing the door behind her.
Remember
