Surprises of Life(Singto & Krist)✓

22.Clear goal but perplexed mind

Krist pov

It's a misty winter morning, fogs covering the beautiful nature... Sunlight struggling through the dense grey fog, but the morning is as overcast as a late afternoon..... I'm enjoying this cold weather standing in the balcony embracing the cool breeze to my body... I'm feeling fresh energized...

My examination will start from the next week so I've to stop my study session and I'm not getting enough time too. Singto already told me to prepare for my exams after exam I can resume it. I also agreed to this, it's good and I've already finished the important parts only a bit left and it's not required for this exam.

But I miss our regular interactions... don't know why... Sometimes I think I'm getting addicted to him... It's been days I've not seen him, only daily good morning and night messages that's all... even being in the same department also I've not seen him around... I am feeling irritated.. my friends are asking me why I am becoming more irritated day by day, I don't know what to say...

I reached at the dorm carrying pile of books, got freshen up and just laid on the bed... trying to think what to do, my phone started beeping... ohh it's mom... I picked it up...

When my mom asked how I'm feeling, I told her "I'm fine, just tired," but I don't think there's a word that truly describes the expanse of this exhaustion and the crippling knowledge that it will only continue through tomorrow.... but this exhausting feeling is not only from the work but also from singto's reaction to the girl of my class in the evening in front of our department building....

When we start medical school, we are told it will be hard, that our days will be consumed with studying figures, memorizing drugs, and the occasional body part. I was prepared for this. I just don't think I realized how tired I would feel at times, how stretched thin, how outside of myself I would become. We chose to become doctors to help people, to better our communities, and to save lives. I don't remember signing a form that allowed medical school to give me new wrinkles, sometimes caffeine addiction although I don't like it....But here I am, absolutely exhausted. I would be lying if I said I had never had a moment in that exhaustion, when the weight behind my eyes spread down to my feet and dampened my drive for this dream, that I wondered if this was truly worth it. I could help people without spending my days studying. I could do something else to better my community and still have time to go out with my friends for drinks, maybe even have a hobby! And I would probably be able to do it without complaining about my workload. It could be great; it could be easy. But I wouldn't be in love with it like I'm with medicine and yes, I want to be a good skilled doctor.... it's my choice..

Today was a good day I was thinking while coming out of the class, me and my gang decided to go to a nice place for dinner, so we'll go to our dorm first to get freshen up and ready. But when I reached near our dorm building, I saw singto receiving flowers from a beautiful girl whom I've never seen before... They're laughing, she's putting her hand in singto's hair, sometimes keeping it on his shoulder. Seeing this I'm feeling so irritated and angry, my friends are with me... Knott asked me what happened... I said nothing suddenly I got a headache I think. You guys go I don't think I can go today. But my friends insisted me again and again. I was getting furious and more angry without saying anything I left them there. Knott came after me and said "calm down krist, whatever it is I don't know, just try to relax and you know you can discuss anything with me  that is troubling you... feel free to talk with me without getting yourself angered and irritated"... I just tried to calm myself down and said sorry for behaving like this and I know it's my fault, I never behaved like that before. I am going to take rest you guys go ahead as our plan. I'll join next time.

I don't understand myself now a days.. why I'm frequently getting angry and irritated... I'm so perplexed with my thoughts...why singto's behaviour towards others affecting me like contagious virus... I'm very clear minded in everything. But when it comes to singto why I am not clear and why I can't able to step forward.. but forward to what??... I need to talk to knott about my stress and frustration. I think he'll understand what I'm saying. And he'll give me some advice about the things as he's more mature among all my friends.

I tried hard to sleep last night but couldn't... Why his thoughts not letting me to sleep... I'm feeling sleep deprived... I hung a pillow like a sand bag and punched it continuously as if it's singto... but why I'm trying to punch him.. no in my dream also I won't ever think to punch or hurt him but I am getting angry for his activities towards.... Ahh I don't want to think about that also and he's not responsible for this, I agree I'm solely responsible for my odd and crazy behaviour... I'm going crazy... maybe I'll get a degree at the end as a 'crazy doctor' instead of 'good doctor'.

Singto pov

My days are very packed now a days.. I can't even find time for me to rest.. exams are also coming so I told him to stop the study session for now. It's been a week I've not seen him, no actually I've seen him a few times but not met him... How much busy I may have but I don't forget to take a look at him without him knowing.

Everytime I see him, he looks exhausted, tired but I can't help it..our course is like that, it'd not easy to be a doctor and these are before practice to endure all things in the future.

Once I was talking with a junior girl infront of our department building krist passed by me but didn't even look at me I don't know why, I also couldn't call him because that girl was asking his doubts about some subjects.

It's a great morning, jogging in the fog while enjoying the fresh smell of nature is amazing. Today I'm feeling more active than past days.

Today there weren't many classes, it's good, I'll get enough time to relax, anyway I'm feeling more active today because of some good things.

I reached at the dorm, a fresh bunch of daffodils my sister got for me, kept them on the flower base... I took a shower, I put on clean pajamas, I sang a song and curled up in bed with a book of my favorite author.... and of course it's not a novel.😉

I'm very happy because it's been a year or more I had not met my sister as she's abroad all these time... finally she came back... And meeting her suddenly, I was so surprised... how come nobody informed me that she'll come... She brought daffodils for me not because it's my favourite flower but it's her favorite... Isn't it funny sis you always give the things that are your favorite... that to she said "Ok don't complain for once I'll let you have your favorite whatever you'll choose and this is your once in a while opportunity so choose carefully..." After listening this I thought yeh..then said, I've already chosen the best for me and I'll tell you and you know, you've to keep your words... she said "definitely and I'm not a chameleon (who changes it's color many times) I keep my words....".. I know my sis, she sticks to her words but I like to tease her... I'm younger so it's my right to tease...

While talking with my sister I marked krist's reaction from afar and saw how he's getting angry... I was trying to guess the reason and sudden realization hit my mind ohh he's getting jealous over me and that day too while I was talking with that girl... Wow really!!! He's jealous over me and it's a best sign for me so I thought to play along. Krist might have thought I've not seen him but no I saw everything what happened and also his friends talk what they're saying. Finally, it's my turn to make him realize but don't know if I'll succeed or not as it depends on him fully.

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Hi frnds,
I'm very sorry😔 for the late update... I'm so perplexed about my future now... So nothing came to my mind to write in this chapter... Thank you for waiting patiently frnds... I'll try to update regularly.
Thank you.☺️
See you around the fiction....☺️☺️☺️
Sometimes calm environment 🏞️ brings relaxation to the mind.... enjoy the calmness of nature.🌲🌳🌴🌾🌾🌾🏕️🏝️