jake peralta oneshots

fourty one

i sigh as i pull my left leg closer to my chest, my left arm resting beside it. my cigarette is raised to my lips, taking a puff before glancing up and blowing the smoke into the pitch black sky. a small smile pulls my lips as the grey smoke compliments the darkness.

i turn my head to the reception i was missing. charles was dancing with his bride in the middle of the dance floor and he's never looked happier. i smile as my colleague spends time with his new wife.

i sigh once again. weddings are the thing that make you evaluate your life, look at yourself and decipher whether you're pathetic or whether you're doing ok. me? i fall into the 'pathetic' category right now.

i am a police detective in her mid thirties who hasn't had a stable relationship for seven years and that did not end on good terms. i don't believe that i'm a difficult person to love, but of course i would think that. my past lovers probably think different.

to be honest, i haven't really been looking for anyone, i simply haven't felt the need. i've had a few one night stands but that's about it.

it's not like i've resorted to a celibacy of sorts, i'm still feeling towards and about people. my recent feelings are really bugging me.

speak of the devil, my recent feelings takes his presence beside me, crossing his legs on the chair as he looks off the balcony.

"i didn't know you smoked" jake said, sighing before turning his head to face me. i take one last drag of my cigarette before i squashed it against the wall and threw it into the bin beside me. i raise my eyebrows before i reply to him.

"i only smoke when i get depressed or when i get thinking about life" i tell him, brining my other leg up to my chest. jake nods his head, looking up at the stars that settled over the city. it was like an artist had created the array of patterns tonight.

"so, what's getting you smoking then?" jake asks me, bringing his head down from looking at the stars seconds before i do. i take in a deep breath.

"weddings always make me like this. i always go alone, i always think that it could be me up there but i'm too busy fucking about. i could have the true happiness that charles has got tonight but i guess i seem to fuck all of that up" i say, shrugging my shoulders and rubbing my hands together in order to try and insulate warmth.

"oh come on, i think you're being a bit dramatic" jake says, rolling his eyes and chuckling slightly. i laugh too, shaking my head at his response to my answer.

"it's true! i have not been in a stable relationship since 2011. do you not think that is a bit messed up? every few weekends, i'll doll myself up and hit the bar, only to get picked up by the same losers and i go through the same rigmarole and leave at six in the morning to avoid the awkward awakening of the two of us as we realise that happened the night before. i'm thirty five for god's sake, i should be settling down, not messing about like i'm twenty again"

jake holds his breath before letting it go again, his eyes widening as i finish speaking to him. he shakes his head, turning to me.

"i'm surprised i'm not one of the losers you've left in the morning" he says, holding his head in shame. my brow furrows as i look at him.

"i do the same thing. i pick up the same girls and they don't make me feel anything" he tells me, looking up at me. i send him an empathetic smile, knowing that we were the same.

"maybe we have been losers together, i don't remember half of my one night stands. i drink an excessive amount purely so i can forget" i say, the two of us chuckling slightly.

i'm sat here, telling him that i don't feel anything but in fact, i feel everything. jake may just be my colleague, partner and best friend (of course besides charles) but i feel myself being pulled in by him. he makes me feel things that none of my boyfriends in my thirty five years on this planet have ever made me feel. i feel alive, i feel as if i'm on fire, i feel safe.

"funny thing, amongst the blur of numb, i feel something. something that seems to stick out above all. i feel you" i say, turning to jake. his eyes widen as he looks from the garden below the balcony into my eyes. his head tilts as he looks at me, clearly wanting me to elaborate on my statement and confession.

"i know it's kind of crazy but ever since i joined the nine-nine four years ago, i feel each day i have grown closer to you. i don't know if i'm just making shit up but i feel a strong connection between the two of us which can't be broken, no matter how many losers we sleep with on the weekend" i explain to him, my fingers playing with the hem of my dress. jake simply sits there, not replying or reacting to my words.

i shake my head, standing from my chair. i push it into the stable and place my hand on my forehead in embarrassment.

"i'm sorry, that was stupid. wow. i shouldn't have said that. i'm gonna go home, sorry about this" i tell him, turning around and walking the few steps to the door which leads me back into the reception.

before i had the chance to open the door, jake grabs my wrist and the opposite hand. he turns me around and walks, making me walk backwards and my back hits the brick wall. he rests his hand on the wall above my head and he dips his head real close to mine.

"i thought i was the only one who felt this" he whispers, his lips inches away from mine. he leans forward, our lips connecting. my eyes close as my right foot ran up the back of my left leg. i melt into the kiss as my arm comes round the back of his neck and his hand cups my cheek.

a shriek was what pulls the two of us away from our passionate kiss. there, stands charles, his hands on either side of his head.

"yes! i knew it!" he exclaimed, punching the air. the two of us glare at him as he freaks out metres away from us. he apologises before he goes back into his reception.

my eyes find jake's dreamy brown ones, the two connecting instantly.

we both let out a loud burst of laughter at our fellow detective's behaviour before our lips attach once again, the fire from a moment ago reigniting once again.