jake peralta oneshots

fifty five

*got this chapter idea from 'suicide squad' and a book i read a few years ago. this chapter definitely has a joker/harley vibe but surely that's the best vibe*

devious laughter fills the room as we enter. the men behind us placed the equipment down whilst we were still laughing about what we just pulled off.

"we'll take your stuff outside, boss" one of the men says to jake, nodding his head and dragging the bag outside to be burnt. jake dismisses them and turns to me.

"we're gonna rule this city, you and me" he says, sitting his arms on my waist. i raise my eyebrows, chuckling to myself.

"not if your cop friends find us" i say, looking up to him. jake immediately disconnects himself from me and stands up straight.

"how many times do i have to tell you? they aren't my friends! i left that life behind!" he screamed, scaring me a little. i nod my head, mumbling a small sorry before i head into the living room. i turn the tv on and as i do, the news was on. i watch it to see if we were on it.

"breaking news in new york. a man and woman going by the name's of jake peralta and y/n y/l/n have robbed the new york museum and have taken two of the security guards hostage. their location at this moment is unknown however the nypd are currently out looking for them. the image on the screen is of the couple and if seen, immediately dial 911" the anchor spoke. i hear a slight evil laughter from behind me, jake tightening his gloves as he came in.

"we made the news, baby" i say, giggling. he nods his head, wrapping his arms around my shoulder.

"we should celebrate by visiting our little friends" he suggests, wiggling his eyebrows. i nod my head, taking a hold of jake's hand and letting him twirl me in a dance like matter. we lace our fingers together and go to the large shed in the back yard. the men's whimpers could be heard from the garden, it was music to my ears.

we enter the shed to see the two men tied up and sat in wooden chairs. they were feared for their life which is just what we needed.

"well, well, well. what have we got here?" jake rhetorically asks, his voice sounding like a taunting nursery rhyme. i stood in the corner, twisting the gum out of my mouth and smiling at the two shaking men.

jake walks around them, dragging his long nail against their shoulders as they do so. one of the man loudly whimpers and jake strikes him.

"did i ask you to make any fucking noise?!" he screams, holding the man by the throat. he quickly shakes his head which brings jake's smile back to his face.

i stare at jake as he did his thing, wondering where it all went so right.

i remember us this time last year. we were both detectives for the nypd. we were as goody-goody as you could possibly get. but it all turned around when jake and i were on a case together. we were chasing this guy into an acid factory and as we reached the highest level, jake slipped and fell into the vat. realising that jake can't swim, i jumped in afterwards and surely there was something in the acid that turned us. i mean we physically turned a pale white but our brains changed too.

"y/n, here" jake demands, dragging me out of my wandering thoughts. i nod my head, blowing a bubble from my gum and walking over to him.

"why don't you tell these gentleman what they have in store?" jake asks, his smile laced with evil as he speaks to me. i smile along with him, touching his arm as he retreats to the corner i was previously in.

"well. it really depends on what mood we're in. last week, jake here was in the worst mood so he just killed a guy, shot him between the eyes. but then again, the other day i was in the best mood so i just tortured a guy, sliced his entire body" i say, chuckling to myself as that memory comes back to me. i can hear jake laughing too.

"but you know, i'm in white a lazy mood today. what do you reckon, jakey?" i ask, turning to my partner in crime. jake weighs up his options, placing his cane under his arms as he moves his hands like a scale.

"oh go on then. we'll let our henchmen do our deed today. come on darlin, we'll go inside and let these gentlemen get to it" jake says, holding his hand out for me to take. before i do that, i bend down so i'm eye level with the two men.

"and remember. keep smiling" i say to the men, who were still shaking with fear. i take jake's hand and as we walk out of the shed, i can hear the sweet sound of knives being sharpened and the men screaming.

"i love this job" i say, giggling to myself as jake and i walk back into the house. he smiles, pressing his lips to mine before he gets a beer out of the fridge.