What if the seven dwarfs never really existed and were just branches of Snow White's personality? Happy for the good days, Grumpy for the bad, Sneezy when under the weather and Bashful around that special someone. What if every time you looked into...
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❝Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.❞ • • •
June last year. June last year. June last year.
The words kept echoing in my mind and even one night's sleep couldn't get them out. June third was the day I told Holly I loved her for the first time. Around the exact same time, she was also in love with Austin.
The rational part of my mind kept telling me that Elody and Holly were different people and that it was high time I accepted it, but in a way, how could I? They still shared the same mind, didn't they? What if I never asked Holly out. What would have changed? Would she have fallen for Austin too? Or perhaps Emma?
I slammed my fist into my locker, the thought making my blood boil. Nothing was fair. Holly would never know how much I did for her, how much time I spent on her and how much I truly cared for her. She might've claimed that she loved me too, but we both knew that her love for me was only one-fourth of her total heart. Her love had to be shared between Emma and I now, and Austin and I earlier.
The thought of Austin threw me back in a fit of rage. How could she have fallen for him? What did he have that I didn't? If Holly truly loved me, she would've somehow found her way back to me even as Elody. She would've fallen for me so long ago. But she didn't.
She didn't love me. No one could love me. I couldn't even be faithful to her. It wasn't her fault that she had the disorder. I could've been the perfect boyfriend. At least I could've done everything right. I could've been her anchor. Instead, I too made my fair share of mistakes.
She cheated on me. Learning about Austin's and Elody's secret relationship made me realize that Holly and I had many more scars than we'd known about. We weren't the golden couple, after all. I hated it. I hated it all.
I struggled to get my locker open, and when I did, I saw the last thing I wanted to see in that moment. It was the photo album Holly had given me on our anniversary. I remembered how happy she was when she gave it to me and I remembered how happy I was when I saw how happy she was.
Does that make sense? I feel like I based off half of my emotions on Holly. If she was upset, it would reflect on my mood too. If she was happy, I'd drop all my baggages of sadness behind me.
But she wouldn't do the same for me. Rather, she would do it today but she'd forget about it tomorrow. Could I really live like that?
All along I'd thought of myself as the emotionally stable one. I could deal with Holly's alters no matter what mood I was in. I guess that wore out somewhere along the way.
