•Day 45• Holly

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❝Sometimes things need to be let go of

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❝Sometimes things need to be let go of. If it's meant to be, you'll find each other again.❞
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I couldn't feel anything. The pain that blossomed in my heart had travelled the whole length of my body, making it numb and frail. My mind was slowly destroying itself with memories, and my eyes were watering steadily. There was no point masking what I felt. Even if my face looked unblemished, my words would betray me. No matter how hard I tried, my pain never abated. It only grew with every fleeting moment. 

"Holly, how are you feeling?" Mr. Kessler asked, when I walked into the kitchen. I didn't even know why he asked. The bags under my eyes and the ghostly paleness of my cheeks should've told him everything. 

"Better," I lied, smiling half-heartedly. Mr. Kessler had been our neighbour for years, and I felt a large surge of love for the man. In many ways, I treated him like he was my own grandfather. I played cards with him at his house sometimes and made him tea. Sometimes I'd even get Will to drive him up to the old age home a few streets away to chat with people his own age. Will.

Just the thought of him brought tears back to my eyes and I struggled to choke back the sobs that were travelling up my throat. Mr. Kessler placed a hand on my arm. "Breathe, Holly. Breathe," he said gruffly. 

I obeyed, swallowing back my tears. I had to stay strong. There was a reason I'd broken up with Will, and I wasn't going to go back on my decision. I wasn't going to stay around for much longer. That was clear after my last talk with Julia. I couldn't string him along until then. He deserved happiness. If he stayed with me any longer, it would only hurt him more when I left. I couldn't do that to the boy I loved. He had to move on while he had the chance. He deserved his happily ever after.

"Every day that ends with you in my arms, watching the night sky together on your front porch, is Happily Ever After to me."

His words resonated in my mind, and I couldn't push them out. When he said those words, I believed them. I still did, but there was a difference. I didn't want it to be like that anymore. I couldn't let Will ruin his life looking after someone who could leave any minute. I would be able to move on the second I adopted a new alter, but he had to hold these memories in his mind forever. I couldn't do that to him. I just couldn't.

"He'll come back," Mr. Kessler said, but I shook my head 

"I won't let him."

"Why not?" Dad asked, from across the table. 

"I can't hurt him like that," I said softly, willing myself not to tear up. 

"But don't you want to spend as much time as you can with him? Life is uncertain, Hol, you can't waste the time you have like this. At least while you're still here, why can't you both be happy?" Dad asked, on the verge of spilling his emotions too. 

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