Destiny's Gamble

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"To the left, Manik." I say, when I notice he's wandering off in the wrong direction once more. On the way back, I've corrected him at least ten times. He listens to my words every time, but doesn't show any form of acknowledgement. 

"So I guess we didn't encounter any lions, huh? Lucky us," I joke, watching his expressions. Manik shows no sign of response whatsoever to my voice. Sighing, I stop. "Manik, come on. You've been ignoring me for the entirety of the walk. Look, I'm sorry, okay? The wrong words came out. What more do you wish for me to say?" 

Manik keeps walking, not once glancing in my direction. Frowning, I throw my arms in the air in exasperation, and drop myself to the ground. If this man can be stubborn then so can I. Upon not hearing my footsteps behind him, Manik turns around to see where I vanished off to.

"Get up," he orders, sounding bored. I shake my head adamantly.

"We cannot have a repeat of what happened in the former days of our marriage, when you completely blocked me out. Manik, I'm a human and that's why I'm allowed to make mistakes, you know? It's perfectly natural." 

"It's getting dark, lets go." Manik jerks his thumb over his shoulder. I shake my head once more, lips pursed. If he wants me to move then he has to stop acting like such a big baby and accept my apology. "I swear to Lord, Angel, don't fucking test me. I will carry you home if I have to," he threatens. 

"Or you can make it easier for the both of us and spit away your anger," I advise.

"For fuck's sake, I'm not mad!" Manik yells, making me jump. "Upset, that's the bloody word. Disappointed, yes, but not mad." He stares at me with those very emotions shining his black orbs. "You don't even understand this much." Shaking his head with disappointment, Manik turns around and makes his way back towards the village.

*****

The floor around me tilts, causing my eyelids to flutter open. Pouting, I open my eyes to be met with a black background. What...

Squeezing my eyes shut, I re-open them. This time - with the fog of sleep dissipating - I realize I'm in someone's arms. My eyes make contact with the black orbs I know so well. 

"Manik," I mumble, my head shifting back and forth with the movement of his chest. "You came back," I smile, the thought immensely pleasing me.

"What else did you expect me to do? Leave you out here all night, at the risk of having a thousand mosquitoes bite you, lions tear the flesh off your bones, and insects to enter your ears and nose." 

"Wow," I whisper, shutting my heavy eyelids. "You've given this much thought." 

"I had two hours to think up a storm, so yes. There are many more horrors that could've affected you, but I'll spare you the details for now." 

"You're here now. All's well." I fist the material of Manik's shirt in my left palm, clutching onto it tightly. 

"Angel, one day your stubbornness shall be the end of you." He warns, not sounding amused at all by actions.

"One day, some day," I say, tossing away his warning. "Today, however, it brought you to me, so I'd say it's rather useful." 

"As if I can keep away for long." The Devil comments, a resigned sigh escaping his lips. "I fear that even when you try to murder me I will just come running back to you for medicine. Because you are my medicine," he adds in a whisper.

"Shh...don't say that," I chide. "I love you, Mr. Hubby. Why would I want to kill you off and end our blooming fairy-tale?" 

"Because your words contradict your actions." This sentence of Manik's causes my eyes to open. I turn my head to get a visual of his face.

"I'm sorry," I say earnestly. "I really am. I-I don't know why I said that in the heat of the moment."

"Is that truly what you think of me, Angel?" Manik asks in a small voice. "That I'm some rich spoilt brat, who hasn't had to work for anything in his life." 

"No," I say, but we can both hear that it's a lie from my tone. Manik sighs, his shoulders slouching forwards as if weighed down with the weight of a thousand tons.

"You're not wrong." Manik stares straight ahead, his expressions unreadable in this shroud of darkness. "Not entirely at least. It's true that I never had to worry much about the price-tags of goods in malls. Neither did I have to ever fear whether I was going to get food on the table at night or not, and sleep with a roof above my head. But the cost of all this luxury was a happy childhood, and a mother. I lost the opportunity to feel a hundred different emotions, or experience them from someone like Nyonika." 

Today I've realized something, I have always thought that I understood Manik and what crafted him into the man he is today. However, that's not true. I don't know this man at all. Not yet at least, but someday I will. For that, however, I must be patient and allow him to share his side of the story before jumping to conclusions, and living with prejudice. 

"I was a mistake," Manik goes on. "Not planned at all. After all, Nyonika doesn't seem like the type who would want a child, right? Yes, she isn't. I just happened to pop into her womb because of her fucking mistake for which I've been paying for my entire life. Nyonika's always been highly career driven and in a country like ours it isn't easy to climb the corporate ladder being a woman. But that doesn't mean you don't have certain assets you can't use to scurry up, and she did just that." 

I can hear the venom in Manik's voice as he speaks about his mother. Quite frankly, their relationship has always baffled me, even after I met Nyonika. I mean, I simply cannot fathom the lengths she pushed Manik till for him to hate her so.

"Unfortunately for her protection doesn't always work and that was the beginning of me. For some fucking reason Nyonika didn't abort me, even though I feel like all of us would've been better off had she done so. Maybe she thought that in the future she could use me as leverage to extract benefits from my father. He, however, wanted nothing to do with me and that backfired." Manik shrugs nonchalantly. "Even my own father didn't want me," he scoffs. "And so I became a burden on Nyonika for a lifetime." 

Manik's feet slow down, the lights of the village coming into view. 

"She never got to rope in an asshole because in her house lay the biggest turn off in the world, a child. And I assure you that Nyonika ensured I knew what a curse I was on her. Sure, she didn't hold back on any expense related to me, but at the same time she always looked at me like I was a sick unit. You know those businesses that don't give any profit." 

My husband stops and lowers me slowly towards the ground, as if my feet are made of paper, one wrong step and they will crumple to the ground. 

"I don't have to worry about the price-tags on goods, but for my entire life I'll be paying for this luxury. Angel, I rather be living in this village, surrounded by people who don't treat me like filth, and respect me, instead of going back to my house." I want to reach out and embrace Manik. Despite all that this man has gone through, he makes living life seem so simple. Sure, he has a bunch of issues, but a person viewing his world from afar could never even get a hint about them. 

"It's late," Manik says, heading past me. "Let's go to our room." With sealed lips, I follow, simply because I have absolutely no clue of what to say. After taking a couple of steps, Manik stops and turns around. He opens his mouth and shuts it. Manik tries once again, achieving the same end result. 

"Do you want to say something?" I ask, encouraging him to spill.

"I..." Manik trails off, tilting his head to the side. "Could I please just get a hug?" With tears brimming my eyes, I nod my head, jogging over towards him. My arms wound around his figure, my head resting against his chest. I can feel Manik's hesitation, as he contemplates whether or not he should wrap his arms around me as well. A few seconds later, my husband's muscular arms surround my frame, snuggling me even closer into his body. 

I've never had a home of my own. I don't even properly remember the house I shared with my parents, then I moved into Chacha and Chachi's, and after that I shifted into Manik's. But tonight I have a home - Manik's arms. This is what a blanket of safety feels like.