Damaged / ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕕 /

Fifty - Eight

"And then he asked me to marry him" I chuckled "He's that desperate?" Isa laughed "He was just trying to convince me" I sighed "You're not really leaving, right?" Isa muttered.

"I still don't know, I would love too but they don't offer as much as here anywhere that I searched so I really don't know what to do" I said honestly  "I would understand, if you go I mean" She nodded pulling me into a hug.

"I love you" I chuckled hugging her back "I love you too" Isa mumbled in my hair.

Someone knocked on the door, we broke the hug and I opened "Hey" I said letting Justin and Lucas in.

I sat down on my bed "Why are you hanging out here this much?" I asked awkwardly "My girlfriend lives here" Lucas chuckled walking to Isa, I looked at Justin "To check up on me?" I said annoyed.

"I'm just worried" He sighed sitting down on my bed "I'm fine! I've talked to Isa, I'm okay" I groaned "Why are you running then? Why would you leave everyone behind?" Justin sighed.

I sighed and pointed at Isa "Noah's sister" then I pointed at Lucas "Noah's friend" And then I pointed at him "Noah's friend" I smiled fakely.

"You are all my ex's friend okay? And I'm not running from you guys, I'm just trying to start over and correct the mistakes I've made" I sighed "What mistakes?" Lucas asked sitting down on my bed aswell.

"Just everything, being with Noah..." I mumbled "He was my first everything guys, I can't just blink and be over him, you do understand right?" I awkwardly looked at them "Your first everything? First to fuck?" Justin asked "I'm not used to this language with you" I laughed "Sorry, the first to sleep with?" He chuckled.

"No, my first kiss, first boyfriend or whatever we were" I nodded, their faces fell "What?" I asked "And we made a game out of it" Justin said sadly.

"It's okay" I whispered "Noah was right, you shouldn't forgive me either" Justin sighed with his head in his hands.

I put my hand on his back and hugged him slowly "You are my best friend, and you weren't my first, I think I can manage forgiving you" I chuckled "It's not okay, have you seen yourself?" Justin said jumping up.

"Justin calm down" Lucas sighed "No, someone should say it, I love you Ava but you need to hear this, you look awful, you didn't sleep in days and I'm sure that that spaghetti was the only thing you ate in days, all you are doing is studying trying to get everything out of your head but it's not working" He rambled.

"Justin!" Isa yelled at him "No, it's okay" I forced a smile "It's not okay! For fucks sake Ava!" He yelled at me "We made you a game, dont you see it? You didn't deserve that, be angry at me, hate me, hate Noah, even Lucas what the fuck" He said.

"But it's okay I'm over i-" Then he pinned me against the wall just like Noah would do, but he's not Noah, he can't.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yelled pushing his chest "Sorry, I'm sorry" I took a deep breath once he was off straightening my clothes trying to hold back my tears.

"Sorry Ava I shouldn't of have done that I was mad and I wanted you to understand" He panicked "Not like that" I snapped with tears blurrying my vision "Sorry" He whispered.

I sighed and got out of the room once again running from everything, I dont do anything else then running, everytime I say to myself I'm okay, and I try to make everyone believe I am, they come and break me, I don't get it.

I was standing outside by now and there were two of my building whispering about me, "Look it's Ava, the girl Noah played" They whispered.

I turned around "What the fuck is your problem!?" I yelled crying "I'm not the girl Noah played, I'm Ava!" I yelled again, then someone grabbed me by the wrist and I knew who it was.

"Let's not do that here" He muttered in my ear and walked to his car.

I just sat there as he got in the front seat "Everyone knows me like the girl you broke" I cried out "I know" He muttered "You know? Oh, he knows" I chuckled still crying.

He groaned "I heard people talk, sorry  I did that for you" He sighed "I hate you" I muttered wiping my tears.

"I know too" He whispered as I felt his eyes burn into my skin, I looked at him, he slowly leaned over and wiped my tears with his thumb.

I whimpered at his touch taking his thumb in my hand with my eyes closed "W-We can't be doing this" I whispered "Doing what?" He whispered back.

"I can't be this close to you Noah" I said trying to pull back he sighed pulling back too "Sorry I was trying to be there for you" He mumbled.

"What were you even doing there?" "I was going to get a coffee and then a familiar voice started freaking out" He smirked a bit.

I giggled "It's your fault" I said getting serious again "Sorry" He said softly "Can you please just stop with the sorry?" I groaned.

He looked in my eyes "You know I still do love you, right? And that I really am sorry for what I did to you and even more breaking it to you that way, I was jealous I had never felt that and then suddenly it was there and I got so scared that I was going to lose you" He whispered basically against my face.

I felt my heart beat faster and my skin started to heat up, feeling the same pit in my stomach I always felt with him.

"It still doesn't fix anything" I whispered back closing my eyes leaning my forehead against his.

"Noah we really can't do this" I whimpered as his lips were about to meet mine.

"I won't tell if you won't"