Damaged / ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕕 /

Eighty

"Someday I'll marry you"

"Someday I'll marry you"

His voice echoed in my mind as I was trying to get some sleep while he was laying just next to me, peacefully asleep.

He wants to get married? Would he want kids? Probably not considering what happened with his mom, but I should ask him, after all I never thought that he'd like to marry me.

I was tossing and turning uncontrollably very uncomfortable trying to find a spot that will finally put me to sleep but it wasn't my luck.

4.34 A.M the clock with red letters marked, just amazing.

"Baby?" Noah whispered "Yes?" I whispered back "What's the matter?" He whispered again turning on the little light he had on his comforter.

"I cant sleep" I sighed sitting up "I figured as much" He chuckled pulling me into his arms "What's the matter? Just uncomfortable or something on your mind?" He said playing with my hair.

"Do you really want to marry me?" I asked him quietly "Don't you?" He asked quietly back, I looked up at him "Someday" I smiled at him "Just didnt think you were in for marriage" I whispered looking back down "I wasn't" he chuckled.

"After all it's all just a party to celebrate our love and what really matters is the stupid paper with our signatures on it" He whispered against my hair "We don't have to get married" I said awkwardly looking back up to him.

"Ava, I'll do the cheesy party and sign all the papers that are necessary so you would be happy" He whispered looking into my eyes.

I felt my cheeks heat up slightly "And kids?" I asked him carefully "You want kids?" He raised his eyebrow, I shrugged "Don't you?" I asked the same question as him "No" He dryly said.

I don't know why, but I felt this huge pit in my stomach, I knew he didnt want kids, but hearing it is just a whole other level.

"I don't want to lose you" He mumbled "I'm not good with kids, and you will die on me and then I will have to be a single dad and I cant be, I just can't handle it, and even though you made it out the giving birth part, I wouldn't like to share you either way" He explained.

I nodded, scared that my voice would crack if I would speak.

"Get some rest baby" he whispered, I sighed quietly laying back down on the bed next to him as he turned the little light off.

And before I knew it, I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I stood on the altar with flowers in my hand as a beautiful melody of piano played, I looked in the front seats only to see Lucas, Justin, my dad and August.

As I looked by my side "Are you nervous?" Isa whispered slowly "He isn't coming Isa" I panicked "He is, relax, he probably is just panicking and my dad is calming him down" She tried to assure me.

I took a deep breath "Noah God damn it where are you?" I mumbled as people started whispering such things as he wasn't coming and that he left me here.

I looked around and suddenly everyone was gone, what is happening?

"Isa? Justin?" I asked loudly then I felt a sudden pain in my lower stomach, as I looked down, my once white beautiful dress was covered in blood, my blood.

I looked up to see Noah hold a bloody baby while shaking, tears streaming down his face "N-Noah?" I asked him.

He looked up at me, as his hands were shaking "Why would you do this to me!?" He yelled at me crying "I'm dead?"

Then the baby disappeared as he  grabbed tightly my arms "Avalynn!"

"Avalynn!"

I shot awake, Noah was sitting there grabbing my arms, I gasped sitting up touching my stomach.

It was a dream, a nightmare.

"What happened?" He breathed out "I... um... I..." I said confused getting up while my hands were literally shaking.

"Baby? Calm down okay? It was just a dream" He said calmly, I rushed to the bathroom shutting the door behind me.

I stared at my sweaty self in the mirror, would you stop playing games with me? I asked myself and my conciousness.

I'm never going to get a baby, I'm probably never getting married.

I took deep breaths trying to regain my strength, Noah walked in the bathroom and pulled me into a hug.

"You're fine" he comforted me without asking, I held on to him for dear life.

"What was the dream about?" He whispered "I don't want to talk about it" I said shaking my head.

He nodded slowly "Okay baby" He whispered against my head.

We got back to the room and laid down on the bed, even if it was already 10 a.m.

"Sorry" I said awkwardly "Why are you sorry?" He asked confused.

"For waking you up" I whispered "I was awake for a while, turns out you speak in your sleep" He chuckled.

"Really? What did I say?" I looked at him "Well, you said 'Noah God damn it where are you' and then a couple of minutes later you said 'I'm dead?'" He chuckled.

I spoke in my nightmare "You died? That's what got you this shaken up?" He asked trying to understand "It was not just that" I sighed.

"You were waiting for me? And got killed because of me?" He asked "Noah please" I sighed.

"Fine fine, sorry" He whispered kissing my head.

I sighed cuddling into his chest hoping this would never end.