Damaged / ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕕 /

Seventy - One

"So, you are talking to Isa?" I asked Lucas sitting on his bed "I dont think that's a good idea" Lucas sighed.

"How about we solve your problem?" He chuckled "I dont have a problem" I muttered checking my phone, there was a text message from Isa.

"Or maybe I do" I muttered reading it 'Noah is day drinking, we might need your help' I sighed.

"You shouldn't get mad at him for protecting you" He said "Who is taking sides now?" I chuckled at him, he rolled his eyes "Sorry, I dont think straight when I'm mad" "That reminds me of someone I know" I muttered getting up.

"Hey, could you give me a ride to Noah's?" I asked awkwardly, he nodded taking his car keys "Maybe you could come in and fix things with Isa" I tried again.

"Ava" He groaned "Fine, I cant really force you" I chuckled getting into his car, the car ride was fast and peacefully quiet, but I knew that the storm was just about to come.

I got out his car once we were there, and I stood there for a couple of seconds in front of the door, hearing yelling and screaming and things break.

I took a deep breath, getting mentally ready and got in, I walked in the living room only to see Noah with a bottle of bourbon in his hands yelling at Rick and Isa as Isa was yelling back at him.

They both looked at me and then he turned around, and he went from pissed off, to mad.

"What the fuck are you doing here now? You invited her too?" He slurred  "You know what? He invited my father to have dinner tomorrow at New Years eve" He laughed taking another sip of the bottle.

"You what?" I gasped looking at him "He invited himself" Rick muttered "Noah, that's not why you are drinking, let's go talk in private" I tried reasoning with him.

He bursted out laughing, freaking me out "Now you want to talk in private? Can't Rick know that you are a bitch that wont forgive me?" He said drinking again from his almost empty bottle.

"Noah dont forget that it was you who started it all okay? I am trying, I said I would try" I sighed "You are not fucking trying!" He yelled at me a few inches away from my face, I could smell the alcohol in his breath.

"You beat up Lucas how did you really expect me to react!?" I yelled back at him, I've never yelled so much in my life.

"I fucking hate you!" He screamed in my face taking the bottle and throwing it hard on the ground, making it shatter into million pieces, Rick and Isa gasped.

"Look what you have done!" I yelled at him, he took another bottle that was sitting on the table "It was empty anyway" He said as he was taking a sip from the other bottle.

I could feel my blood boil "Could you fucking stop drinking!?" I yelled at him "You think you can come in here and tell me what to do?" He chuckled, changing moods again.

"You know, I begged you, I fucking begged you to forgive me, and yet here you are" He pointed at me "You say you can't forgive me and that you dont want to be together but here you are, look at you" He laughed, I took a deep breath "I'm trying for what? A month? And all you ever want from me is to fuck" He chuckled "Noah!" I gasped glancing at Rick and Isa.

"What!? I fucking love you and I've never loved anybody, even myself and now you are fucking with my head and I can't handle it! I can't handle this God dammit" He yelled at me.

"I do love you, I told you I'm trying but everytime I put it aside or you mention it or you mess up again" I sighed.

"But I told you I was sorry" He slurred out drinking again, I took the bottle from his hand and threw it against the ground breaking it too just like the other one "Stop fucking drinking!" I yelled at him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He snapped "You!" I yelled at him "You think you are the only one struggling from this but you are not! You used me for a stupid game and you just want me to forgive and forget but all I see when I look at you is how you tried to play me and embarrass me in front of your friends just to hurt me! And I'm sorry I'm human too!" I yelled at him with tears in my eyes.

And then he began clapping, "See? You are never going to forgive me" He chuckled "You are driving me crazy" I snapped and walked to the front door again looking at Isa and Rick just standing there "Sorry for the bottle, and for the rest" I said quickly and walked out just sitting on their porch.

I love him, I love him so much, but how could I possibly fully put my trust in him again knowing that he is capable of using somebody just to play? Or how do I know he isnt getting mad tomorrow and beat up my friends? How do I know that tomorrow when I wake up he doesn't start to insult me and make me feel bad about myself just because he isnt feeling good himself?

I'm pretty sure, he is going to be the reason that I end up losing my mind, and myself.