Aubrey: Your wife is a complete child!
Chloe: She is not!
*Beca walking downstairs in her Ewok onesie*
Beca: Don't mind me. I'm just getting some milk and cookies before I go to sleep. I put the milk in the microwave for ten seconds, don't I, Chlo?
*Aubrey turns to Chloe with raised eyebrows*
Chloe: Whatever. I still love her.
~
*Chloe is trying to get her drunk wife into bed*
Chloe: Okay, drunky, let's get you to bed.
Beca: I sleep on boobies?
Chloe: What? No, we need to get you into your pyjamas first.
Beca: I sleep on boobies.
*Beca's head falls onto Chloe's breasts and falls asleep*
Chloe: *sighs* I really should keep a record of how many times she's done this.
~
Stacie: Wow, Bec! Nice room!
Beca: Thanks. Chloe helped me renovate.
Stacie: I really like the artwork on the walls. Very classy.
Beca: Thanks. Chloe wouldn't let me have Star Wars so I had to have abstract instead.
~
Beca: *deep in making new mixes*
Chloe: Babe, can we watch a movie together?
Beca: *ignores her*
Chloe: I'm going to order pizza. What do you want?
Beca: Barbecue chicken, garlic bread, and Mountain Dew.
Chloe: *rolls eyes*
~
Aubrey: Stace, I really don't think you should be wearing low-cut tops anymore.
Stacie: What? Why?
Aubrey: One: because people gawk at you. Two: because you lose stuff in your boobs.
Stacie: Oh, don't be ridiculous! I do not!
Stacie: *reaches into her cleavage and pulls out a set of keys*
Stacie: Oh... So that's where my car keys went...
~
Beca: *arguing with the Bellas*
Beca: I am NOT a softie!
Chloe: *shivers* Oh, it's a bit cold in here, isn't it?
Beca: Here, babe, put this blanket around you. I'll make you a hot chocolate but I'll get your fluffy socks first. Here, *removes the jacket off her back* wear this in the meantime. I'll put the heater on as well. The Bellas can just piss off if they're not happy about it.
~
*Beca and Chloe are in a pet store*
Chloe: But they're so cute, Bec!
Beca: Chloe, we are NOT getting a bunch of rabbits!
*The next day*
Chloe: *sitting down next to Aubrey with a cage* This is Tam-Tam, Bobby, Skippy, and Hops.
Aubrey: You've got Beca wrapped around your finger, don't you?
Chloe: Oh, totes but don't tell her that. It's important that she thinks she has a bit of say in our relationship.
~
Aubrey: *drunk* Excuse me, ma'am. Federal Boobie Inspector. I need to inspect some weapons of mass destruction.
Stacie: By all means, Officer! Whatever I can do to help.
Aubrey: Hm... Looks like I need to remove a layer of clothing to properly examine them.
Stacie: Of course. Would you like some assistance?
Aubrey: Mm, I would LOVE some assistance...
Fat Amy: Girls, this isn't how Cops and Robbers work.
~
Chloe: *dancing to the Chicken Song in a chicken costume*
Stranger: Hey, is that your wife?
Beca: I want to say no but I've seen what's under that costume so, yes, that's my wife.
~
Chloe: Bellas, I'm making dinner tonight. What do you want?
Beca: *casually* McDonald's.
Emily: *gasps* McDonald's?
Fat Amy: McDonald's?
Stacie: McDonald's?
The Bellas: McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's!
Chloe: *turns to Beca* See what you've done?
Beca: *shrugs* They know what's the good stuff.
YOU ARE READING
Pitch Perfect One-Shots
FanfictionJust a series of ongoing Pitch Perfect one-shots of Bechloe and Staubrey.
