Deceiver //PJM FF

Chapter 49

You were in your friend's room, observing some canvases left there while Jimin was preparing dinner. He hadn't said much after that hug except a 'thank you' that sounded really sincere then you had gotten inside, him soon after going to cook something with the little ingredients  he found in the house that were still in an usable state. 

Nostalgic feelings started getting over you as you went over her old paintings as  some were left at the side of the big colorful locker in which she kept in, all her sketchbooks . You couldn't help but open the locker as soon as you finished looking at the few canvases and pulled some sketchbooks out of it before taking a seat on the carpet and flipped through them, reminiscing . 

You remembered well some that she had sketched while she was with you and others which you recognised as places despite the fact that you didn't recall clearly if you had been with her while she was making those. Sketches of the school yeard of when you were back in middle school as well as sketches of the garden view from her bedroom's window. Sketches of sunny days and cloudy ones, rains and storms that portrayed the passing of seasons as she saw it from the window of her room.

You left aside that sketchbook and grabbed another and another  and soon it started feeling as if you were going through the years of her life, and you were observing the world through her eyes. After a while, you  happened to take hold of a certain Sketchbook which you remembered well. It was one that you had bought for her and in which she had captured the handsome merman that she used to refer to as and use him as an example of beauty. 

It was really too much of  a coincidence , how things had turned out when it came to that sketch. Who would have ever thought that a day would come that the creature would be at the other room . Who would have ever guessed that you would meet him like this and even like him like this. It was strange , the way life had went around and had gave you something, you never thought that was possible to come. He used to be just a sketch and now he is part of your life, flesh and bones, as real as he can get.

You proceeded to open that sketchbook and you managed to directly open it to the page his sketch was, the old habit of finding the page at first try coming back to you. You looked at it in awe and admiration as it had been a while since you had last seen it and you couldn't help but stare at it for a while, getting lost in memories and silly  conversations you used to have ,related to it. 

Your thoughts were far away by the time that Jimin entered in the room and even though he called your name, his voice never reached your consciousness . He approached closer as he noticed that you hadn't heard him and as he did so, he halted once he saw what you were looking at. The colored sketch was breathtaking but that wasn't the only reason he got shocked but it was also because in that page, inside the crystal colors of the blue water of the sea,stood him ,smiling lightly .

He was taken aback by the image as he could not remember such a thing then it hit him. He recalled well that moment. It was some years ago when he was working at a beach bar in Busan for a summer season. He was on a break at that moment and he had went to dive in the sea, to freshen up his burning hot skin that back then was hardly waiting for some relief , as the temperature was quiet hot that summer.

"Wow. So unbelievable." He uttered as his mind was really blown away by the fact that someone had captured him at that moment and turned a regular action into such a beautiful art piece.

You snapped out of your thoughts as he spoke and reflexively you shut the sketchbook close, quickly pulling it in your embrace and getting up to face him. You were obviously startled by his presence as well as momentarily nervous of what he may think of  that sketch.

"Well, she used to like sketching whatever would get her attention and it would stuck as worthy to occupy her pages." 

"I see. She did a great job though. I never knew that i had ever been in the same space with her. Did you know of this drawing before today?" He questioned you and you turned around gathering the other ones which you had left scattered then proceeded to answer him.

"Yes, of course i knew. That's why i was shocked when i first saw you. I wasn't expecting to meet the merman of the drawing." You told him the truth and you could hear his confusion in his voice as he repeated the word 'merman' with a clear question mark.

"Right, i remember you kept looking at me that day. And here i thought that you were instantly attracted to me. Sad." He joked and you glanced at him with a smirk before teasing him a bit.

"Calm down there Mister. You are giving too much credit to yourself." You turned your back at him as you proceeded to place the sketchbooks in the locker .

"I sound cocky ,i know, but i was just hoping that it would have been mutual. Turns out i was the only one that was instantly drawn to you though." His response wasn't exactly what you were expecting him to say and even though you wouldn't like to admit, his statement had gotten you flattered. 

You said nothing after that however, since you weren't sure what you were supposed to say and as you placed the last  sketchbook and closed the locker, your movements came to a halt as you felt his arms snugging against your waistline and processing to bring you in his embrace. His chest felt warm as you back hit against it and his forehead rested against the back of your head for a moment as he said nothing but kept you there.

The atmosphere grew intense as even though no words were exchanged, his desire to touch you seemed to pierce through the air, filling you with tempting feelings that you shouldn't be feeling. You closed your eyes as you placed your hands above his, planning to pull them away from you, however he wasn't the only one that wanted you and that was the problem. The attraction was mutual however you couldn't afford to give in, no matter how much you had unconsciously grown to creave for the love of this guy .

"We can't." He whispered ,his voice making you snap your eyes open.

"I know now that we can't." He continued, his tone of voice dropping lower as if he was battling with his lust at that moment.

"I don't want to hurt you Y/N." He felt the stinking feeling on his throat as he admitted that truth that no matter how sincere it was, his future actions were ment to make it useless. However if he had ever said anything truthful to you , this was the most truthful of them all. He truly didn't want to hurt you, he just couldn't escape from doing so.

It sucked that there was no other way and it hurt him because he had grown to know how good of a person you are. Yet he also knew that he couldn't step back. His family's safety was on the line.

You felt his arms letting go of you at that moment, and somehow you couldn't help but hold your breath as a feeling of loneliness rose inside you. You wanted to keep that warmth no matter how unsure you still were of its sincerity . You had the need to have that comfort and as he stepped back, you couldn't help but feel as if someone you wanted to stay was abandoning you.

"I will try harder to keep my distance from now on Y/N. I won't put you in danger. But please, please, don't think that my heart changed in any way." He added, feelings of hate dripping inside him as he was lying. He could not keep himself away from you even if he wanted to. He could not protect you no matter how much guilt that would bring him.

" Thank you." Was all you replied to him while you maintained your position ,leaving your back facing him. Your tone of voice had concealed your emotions well however even though you were feeling a bit broken, you couldn't help but smile, at the thought that he really cared. Enough to put his lust and desire for you to the side, for your safety.

His actions just now, even though they brought an unpleasant wave inside you, they also brought respect for him and trust towards his so called feelings.

That were soon to get out of his control.

---To be continued.....

{double update}