Famous In Love

66

While Octavia drove to the address Lincoln had given her, her phone started to rang. She pulled the car aside immediately to take the call, hoping Lexa’s name would appear on her screen and when she saw it was, her heart skipped a beat. She answered the call immediately. “Oh my God Lexa! I’m looking for you the whole time. Where are you?! Are you okay?” 
“I’m sorry but you’re not speaking with Lexa Woods at the moment.” She heard a manly voice saying. “Who is this and what are you doing with Lexa’s phone?” Octavia asked and she grabbed the steering wheel tight, thinking something had happened to her friend. “I’m a bartender of Floukru. It’s bar downtown Los Angeles. I saw you texted her the last time and your friend here isn’t able to go home by herself anymore so I thought I would call someone. If I hadn’t held her back she would’ve driven herself.” The man said and Octavia’s heart fell in her chest. Thinking Lexa would have driven the car while being drunk meant she was really bad. When she first met Lexa, the girl didn’t drink at all because of the car accident her parents died in. And now she was going to do the same. “Alright I’m on my way. Thanks for calling. What’s the address?” Octavia asked and after the bartender gave it, Octavia immediately drove towards it. She recognized Lexa’s car just outside the bar and parked next to it. The moment she entered the bar, she recognized Lexa’s brown hair. The brunette was leaning on the bar. “Why don’t you just give me something? I pay for what I drink so what’s the problem.” Lexa said in a slur to the bartender who ignored the brunette. “Lexa.” Octavia said when she walked closer and Lexa looked at her with drunk eyes. “O!” Lexa said excited and she reached for Octavia to hug her but Octavia didn’t let her. “Oh oh.” Lexa said now because she could see on Octavia’s face she was in trouble. “Are you out of your mind?!” Octavia asked and Lexa drunkenly shrugged. “I don’t know. You tell me.” 
“What’s going on Lexa? I don’t recognize you anymore.” Octavia said softer this time and her voice was filled with sadness. Lexa was drunk but she did recognize the mood change. “This is who I am. I disappoint people. That’s all I ever do.” Lexa said with arms wide open and she caught attention of a few people in the pub who were watching the scene. “That’s not true.” Octavia said and she looked at Lexa with a questionable face. Where was this coming from? “Oh it isn’t? It’s because of me my parents aren’t alive anymore. Because I disappointed them by being myself. I was the cause that my father became an alcoholic and that caused Clarke’s dad to die. I disappointed Costia by not being enough for her at first and then by dumping her because I fell in love with someone else. It’s because of me Raven is in the hospital right now and might not ever be able to walk normal again. You’re right Octavia. I’m not only a disappointment, I ruin people’s lives.” Lexa said and tears started to fill her eyes. It broke Octavia’s heart to see her friend like this. Octavia walked closer and cupped her brunette’s face in her hands. She forced her to look into her eyes before talking. “Look at me. You’re not a disappointment nor do you ruin people’s lives. All the things you mentioned didn’t happen by your hand. It’s because your dad was drunk that he drove into a tree and died together with your mom and Clarke’s dad. It’s because Costia was too blind to see how amazing you are that she let you go. And it’s her fault Raven is in the hospital right now because she is a crazy bitch. We can’t always clarify why things happen. They just do.” Octavia said and a tear rolled over Lexa’s cheek. “The world is better off without me. I need to stop hurting people.” Lexa said as if she hadn’t listened to a word Octavia had said. “Let me put it this way. You can’t point a finger at someone and blame them for everything that has happened. If you really are the one to blame everything on, isn’t it your parents fault then of making you? Isn’t it your dad’s own fault of not accepting you are gay and drinking instead? Our life and the things that happen are based on choices we made. And those choices lead to actions. And of course you can imagine that another choice would’ve been better but you don’t know that. You don’t know what that other choice leads to and we shouldn’t wonder that either because we can’t change it. It happened and it is what it is. We need to move on and focus on other choices again so we can continue with our lives.” Octavia said and it seemed like these words did reach Lexa’s brain because the brunette stayed quiet and just looked at Octavia with red puffy eyes. “Come on. Let’s get you into bed.” Octavia said and supported Lexa so the brunette wouldn’t fall. “Thanks for calling me and not letting her drive like that.” Octavia said to the bartender who gave her a nod before the two ladies left the pub.