What We Do In the Shadows: "Jen..."

What We Do In the Shadows: "Jen..." Part LXXIX...

What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."

Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar...

Part LXXIX...

The old Residence, just past sunset...

"I do hope you don't mind, I've brought my own camera crew, currently documenting my own fabulous existence..." Simon Devious, seated on the couch of the fancy room, beams at an annoyed Laszlo, an unconcerned Nandor, and a glaring Nadja.

"Careful with that arc lamp, Todd." He eyes Todd, standing dourly by Samarta, adjusting said lamp. "Oh, and who might you be, sweetheart?" he eyes the Soul Doll in Nadja's arms giving him a sour look. "I sense sentience of a kind..."

"Simon the Devious, my Soul, Nadja, in doll form." Nadja lifting the Doll slightly.

"Charmed." Simon smiles, offering hand which the Doll ignores.

"Be nice..." Nadja hisses. "You and Laszlo."

"And of course, your human pets...Ginny, Jen...One foot in the grave lady..." Simon notes the presence of Ginny, Jen, Martha with friendly nods.

"Our friend's name is Martha." Nandor, stiffly. "And we prefer not to note she has the foot in the grave."

"If it brings me closer to you, Na...Master." Martha begins...

"No...Her?" Simon blinks at the pair. "Oh, Nandor...Please...Let me find someone for you. Even old Samarta the Goth here is a better match..." indicating Samarta, training video camera on him.

Martha glowering, slight growl...

"Oh, my...Down, girl." Sniffs. "Another werewolf? No, unless she's found a really excellent deodorant..." sneering tone.

"It's fine, Martha. Shut up, Simon." Nadja, firmly. "Be polite or leave."

Does seem a bit unnecessary, Simon...As was that ongoing crack at my age...Samarta frowns.

"It will not be necessary, Simon Devious. I am perfectly content with Miss Martha as my minion."

Oh...Martha, a bit downcast now...

"Oh, well...If you're just using her for food and as a slave, fine." Simon nods. "I was afraid you were considering the unspeakable horror of taking the old biddy for your Immortal mate. I mean, what was I thinking...?"

"Enough, Simon!" Nadja growls.

So there I was, alerted by this seemingly insane eccentric guy from my friend's building who was insisting they were a hunter of vampires and vampires are real, and suddenly...Thank you know who I had my camera when I decided to humor the poor schnook and make like Karl Kolchek...Samarta mentally edits her upcoming job interview.

Just gotta make sure I get a really good dusting of someone, preferably Simon...Since it would fit so well with his ranting monologues...Which like a good reporter I "uncovered" while researching the background of this bizarre affair...

Say, what if I claimed I got bit in all the excitement and turned and get the paper or station to try and have me cured...What a story! Intrepid reporter back from the Undead with proof of said Undead!

Frankly, after 1500 plus years of Immortality? I could go for a few decades of mortal. And nothing compares to the rush of uncovering a great story.

Of course, I wish I could do my greatest story...First female barbarian leader to enter conquered Rome in 410.

But, there's always historical fiction.