Double Vexation ( A Harper's series. book 11)

Missed Call Log

Hey my love's! I missed you all so much and I hope you're all still waiting on me! I hope everyone enjoyed Christmas and will have a blessed New Year! Much love!

"Chell... Girl, come on now, snap out of it. You've been driving around aimlessly for nearly twenty minutes and haven't said a word. You're scaring me girl". I heard Jensey say.

I stared down at my white knuckled grip on the steering wheel as my breath came out in short puffs through my mouth. Easing off of the gas, I spared a helpless look at Jensey then slid off onto the shoulder of the road. It was if every raw emotion I've felt since Duel walked into my life came forth. Burying my face into my hands I let out a tortured wail. Everything that I had been keeping bottled up overflowed and my body shook with each sob. Jensey pulled me into her and rubbed my hair as she whispered soothing word's. "It's okay Chelly. Let it all out".

" Does he even know how much pain he's caused me? Does he even care? I've been lying Jensey to you, to everyone... Even myself. I love him... God how I still love him and I don't know why. I can't explain it. I should hate the ground he walks on. He left me, didn't call and cut me off like I was the plague... For her. Fuck, I waited at his stupid country house, his stupid car for weeks for him to return. No matter how I tried to make myself believe he wasn't coming back I couldn't. The day he pulled away from where he left me standing is burned into my mind, my heart. I thought he loved me. I believed him every time he swore his love to me. I broke all of my rules for him, gave him all of me... Everything I had to give and for what? For him to walk away and forget me as if I was nothing to him". I blubbered through my tear soaked voice.

"Shhhh girl. You're strong and can handle this. Seeing him has just got you spooked." Jensey said trying to convince me differently but I pulled away and shook my head.

"No. No I'm not strong Jensey. I've been strong for so long now that I've worn myself out. I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of running and hiding. I shouldn't have to. This mess is his fault. He wasn't honest with me so yes I freaked the fuck out when I learned who he was. Yes I'm scared of him, his family. I never meant to cause him trouble or call the police and have him sent back to jail. I was scared and did the only thing I knew to do at the time. I thought he was going to kill me and maybe he was so I freaked okay. But it's just wrong of him to hold this over my head forever. Can't be just leave me alone, let me love in peace? Besides he's living in peace right now, he's happy. I saw the ring on his finger. I bet it's her... That Zoe. She wanted him and Duel confessed his feelings for her during the early stages of our relationship. I guess he never truly lost them. I guess I wasn't enough and it hurts so bad. Why can't I just let him go Jensey? Why can't I move on so easily like he has? I need to talk to him, give him a call".

" Oh no, no, no Chelly. Now you're talking crazy. You let him be. Do not, I repeat do not willingly seek him out. It's too dangerous. Besides girl you're about to get married, be Preston's wife but if you keep talking like you are you won't". Jensey said matter of factly.

I swiped a tear from my eye I nodded in understanding. "I do love Preston it's just that Duel held my heart and crushed it with his bare hands. It's a pain I don't know how to recover from".

Jensey pulled me from the driver's seat and took the wheel over. As she drove us toward home we remained silent until another thought occurred. "I need you to leave Jensey. When we get home pack up and flee".

Jensey snickered. "What the hell is up with that girl?"

" He knows I'm here now so there's a possibility that he may come after me. I can't have you drug down with me and I'm done running". I explained.

"If you stay I stay". Jensey replied sternly.

" I'm not leaving my girl to face that Harper thug alone". She stated and I knew nothing I said would change her mind.

After a few moments of quiet I spoke more to myself than her. "You know it's makes no sense to me. It's not even fair. Can't he see the pain and suffering he's put me through?"

I pulled down the sun visor and looked at the bite mark he marred my skin with. Tracing a finger along it I spat. "Every time I look in the mirror I have to see this.... A constant reminder of him. Hasn't he dealt enough revenge on me?"

Jensey re!aimed silent. I guess she knew that I wasn't really looking for an answer to that right now...but I was.

Later that evening I spoke to Preston briefly and faked a headache. By nine that night I went to bed but laid wide awake with my mind twirling. I knew this had to come to an end of I ever planned on living a normal life. By three a.m. I found myself dialing Duel's old number. Relief washed over me when voicemail picked up. After a few seconds of hesitation I whispered a meek "Hi".

Taking a deep breath I begin. "To be honest I don't even know if you'll get this or even if you still use this number but if you do and this is you I probably don't need to tell you who this is."

I have a soft, why like laugh. "You don't know how many time's I wanted to call you or how many time's I practiced what I would say. And now that I've finally worked the nerve up I'm at a lost for word's so I'll start at the beginning." I paused to gather my thoughts .

"It was May 23, ten in the morning. That was the last time that you kissed me, hugged me and told me that you loved me. I watched your tail lights fade away as I remembered your promise.... I'll be back in a week baby. I'll make it to your graduation, I wouldn't miss that for anything."

I released a little breath and continued. "My graduation day came and still no sign are word from you. I left message after message. Call after call only to be greeted by silence. At my graduation I continually looked over my shoulder to see if you might have showed up. That night as my friend's gathered for party's I sat on the steps of your family's home hoping you'd roll in on a cloud of dust. That's pretty much how the remainder of my summer was spent. I'd sit on those steps waiting for you to come back to me. Every time a car sped down the road my heart would beat fast but continue on by. Then my heart would just stop. I'd look at your car and wonder if it felt like me.... Abandoned? Unloved? Not good enough? Replaced? I had a bad feeling when you left I'd never see you again. I kinda assumed your feelings for Zoe would resurface and I guess they did judging by the ring on your finger. ... I guess it's her who won your love?"

My next word's came out broken as tears strangled me up. "Do you know how much you hurt me Duel? Do you know how it feels to have loved someone with every fiber of your soul only to be forgotten without an explanation? Do you know what it's like to still feel that pain after all of this time? To constantly think about them and wonder how thing's would have been if you hadn't of left? Do you Duel?" I cried into the phone.

" Do I ever cross your mind? Do you think about the good time's we had? Do you remember the place by the river, you know our special spot? The place I gave you my entire heart and soul? Because I do.... Every fucking day. "

By now I was making a fool out of myself and wished I had taken Jensey's advice and not called because I was full on crying. "Do you Duel?" I sobbed.

I should hate you but I don't. Why can't I hate you Duel? Why can't I hate you like you hate me? " I stopped and have a snort. "Isn't it funny how I don't hate you but you hate me. In fact you're probably planning my murder right now. You hate me because I wasn't aware of who and what you are. You hate me because I had no idea that you wasn't returning my calls because you was locked away. You hate me because I'm scared of you. You hate me because I freaked out and sent you back to jail. How was I suppose to know Duel when you lied to me about everything? How was I supposed to know that you didn't escape to hunt me down especially after you bit me like you did? Isn't the pain and suffering you've caused me enough for you? How much more do you want to hurt me? Trust me, I hurt everyday. Every time I look in the mirror I reminded of you. You just didn't leave scars on the inside of me but the outside as well. Isn't knowing that you hurt me more than anybody ever could revenge enough? "

Blowing out a breath I wrapped it up. "I'm not running this time. I'm staying here and I'm getting married soon. The choice is your. It's up to you now. I'm here but I refuse to live in fear anymore. Goodbye Harper..... My first love".

I hope you enjoyed this long overdo chap!!!   Please tell me your feelings, thoughts on this.

Was Chelly wrong to call him?

How will Duel react to this message?

Will be back off now are hunt her down?