Double Vexation ( A Harper's series. book 11)

Lesson Or Blessing

Hiya! When it rains it pours and I'll just leave it at that! You might need a few tissues. Thanks for the comments on the last chapter! After this chapter thing's are going to get very rocky!

It's true what they say, that your first love will hurt the most. That you'll never forget them. However in my case all I want to do is forget Duel Harper. He came to me on my graduation day to profess his love, to assure me that I was the one he wanted and like the naive school girl that I was I believed every word that he spoke. I don't know who I'm madder at... Him for feeding me lies or me for gobbling those lies up. Especially when in the pit of my stomach something didn't feel right especially when announced that he had to return to New York suddenly. Part of me believed that he was being honest about it being family business where the other part of me worried that he was returning due to Zoe. I guess I have my answer now.

It's been over a month since Duel left and I haven't heard from him. Yes, the first two day's he did call but nothing since then. I've called, texted and left many messages and not once received a reply back. Even though I didn't want to accept it at first, in the end he chose Zoe and just didn't have the balls enough to let me know. Duel was nothing more than a lying coward and unworthy of my love.

You know he could have simply sent it through a text if he had changed his mind instead of having me consistently contact him and get no reply back. But that's my fault. I was weak and hurt and allowed myself to send teary message after message begging him to call me or come back. Basically pouring my heart out to a machine but eventually I accepted his choice no matter how it hurt. You can't force love and I deserved better, someone who wasn't tied to a previous love.

I'll never forget the moment I finally gave up and came to terms that Duel didn't want me, that I had been no more than a play thing to him. It was about two week's ago and it was the last time that I had tried to reach him. Here I was yet again speaking my feelings to a machine. Trying to keep the sadness from my voice, I sat in my mom's old van out by the river at the spot where I first laid with Duel, the spot where I gave him my heart as well as my body.  "I won't contact you anymore. I understand that you chose Zoe over me and I'm going to except that. It won't be easy but I'll get over it in time. Since I won't be contacted you again I feel that I need to let you know this so it doesn't haunt me. Duel, I truly and deeply loved you and even though I now know that your love wasn't real I'm going to pretend that it was. I'm going to tell myself that you loved me as I loved you and just maybe this won't hurt as bad". My voice broke off in a crack as my emotions escaped my restraint.

Taking a deep breath to regain my composure, I continued. "But here's what I've learned, yes I want to hate you and her both but I'm not going to do that. Instead I'm going to wish you two the best and not be consumed by bitterness. I'm going to put a smile on my face and move on in grace. I will turn my pain into something happy by helping other's. I won't lie, you aren't going to be easy to get over but I'm stronger than you think and this to shall pass. Lastly I want to say thank you. Thank you for the good time's and laughs that we did share. Thank you for showing me how to stand up to my parent's and because of that I have made some drastic changes in my life but I won't burden you with that. Most importantly thank you for teaching me what love is not and what signs to watch for in the next guy. You was my lesson that turned into a blessing. I'll end this message here by saying that I hope your life is kind to you and you accomplish everything you set out to do.... Always remember that I'll be praying for you. Goodbye Duel Harper" .

I laid my phone down and cleaned the tears from my face. After taking a few moment's to gather my strength and emotions I returned home. I waltzed into my door with a new purpose in my step. "Mom, dad, I need to talk to you". I called out.

It wasn't long before they joined me in the kitchen and we sat around the table. They eyed me with curiosity but I ignored it and said what I had to say. "There's been a change in my college plans. I won't be attending the community college here after all."