Sunday, January 17, 2021
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You ever feel a gut urge to reclaim part of you that you gave up a long time ago?
I mean, I used to be super into stars and astronomy and mystical stuff like that.
But I kinda gave it up when I went into middle school, putting aside my passion for school and writing on the side.
But a friend gave me a necklace with stars/planets/the moon/the sun on it and she said something like "you're all about the stars and stuff so I thought this fit" and it's like the spark came back to me that day.
And it's been almost a month since then, but every time I wear the necklace I think of it and suddenly I want to try to memorize star charts and constellations, I want to learn random facts about the stars and planets, I want to devour all the mythos around the stars and planets and things in the universe.
I don't know what to do with the urge though because I have exams and fics depending on me, and I have to take care of my mental health and I'm losing about an hour of my usual free time due to scheduling, but the burning need to know, to learn for the sake of learning, to research because I want to and not because I have to, it's like seeing a friend you haven't seen or heard from in months and yet you start on the same page immediately and it's as if you two never separated.
It's like listening to a song you haven't heard in years and yet you still love it like when you first heard it, you still know the flow of it, the feel of it, even if the lyrics are long gone from your memory.
I forgot what learning because you want to feels like, I forgot what that burning passion feels like.
I forgot what passion feels like, outside of writing and debating, I forgot what loving knowledge feels like.
I guess that's something people get wrong about Ravenclaws. We aren't perfect academic people, we love knowledge and learning because you want to, we're for the passion of knowledge and learning, of wit and inspiration, of honing one's intelligence, because intelligence is more than just facts, it's social, it's emotional, it's sports or books or myths or facts or so many other things. It's that drive to know, to grasp, to understand, all because you want to, not because you have to. It's passionate learning, it's wanting and yearning and finding it out, it's ignoring homework so you can read more, it's forgetting your own age but being able to analyze why the Greek Gods (as an example) are so much more human than the Christian God and why people are always so attracted to the idea of them and why they've persisted for so long in our media/minds. It's being unable to do a math problem but able to explain in detail the history of a fictional country/kingdom you created that is barely touched on in the actual text. It's being incredible at social studies and terrible at science, it's being awful at English but a wizard in math, it's doing what you love and reaching to know more because you are driven by yourself and your desire to know more.
And I guess I'm trying to rediscover that part of me.
Stay safe kiddos and remember to eat something!
Love you all <3<3<3
~Ink
