Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

3.7

Casey and I stayed a little while longer at Rich and Jodie's house, Jodie insisting that we stay for lunch and my parents insisting that I stayed and play with little Austin since I didn't see him all day. We both gladly accepted the offer, my Dad and Rich getting lost in conversation about his Camaro and the progress that was being made on it and my Mom quickly getting up off her seat to help Jodie get things ready to be thrown on the grill. I looked over at Casey, shrugging my shoulders. "Do you want to go for a walk to the park?"

"Yeah sure" she laughed. I walked into the kitchen leaving my Dad and Rich to discuss cars, neither of them probably even caring if we left anyway, as we made our way to the kitchen to see my Mom preparing a salad and Jodie mixing meat to make hamburgers. I smiled to myself picturing me doing things like this for Austin and little Austin at some point in life, provided that he still wanted to talk to me when this was all said and done.

"Uhm Casey and I are going to take little Austin to the park okay? We will be back in about a half hour, will that work?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as Austy started squirming in my arms to be let down.

"That would be great, just have your phone on you in case things get done early" my Mom smiled as she started cutting up some tomatoes to throw in with the salad. I nodded my head as I sat Austy down on the floor. Grabbing his hand as I started walking with him towards the front door feeling a weight lift off my shoulder that we were leaving the house, so many what ifs on my mind that I had to talk to Casey about. It was almost as if Casey knew what was coming, we had just crossed the road and started down the sidewalk to the small park two blocks away when Casey started laughing.

"Spill it" she said looking up at me as she was holding Austy's little hand in hers. I rolled my head and my eyes almost simultaneously. I knew that I had to get this off my chest, but at the same time this was supposed to be her weekend, I wasn't supposed to be bothering her with tales of my rollercoaster of a love life with our best friend. "Well I'm waiting" she said with a smile.

I let out a deep breath, wondering just how I wanted to say things to her, finally deciding that spilling it out was the best way to do it. "There are so many what if's Case" I said pushing my hair behind my ear as my gaze traveled down to the ground.

"Like.." she started, implying that that wasn't good enough. I needed to carry on if I wanted her help and stop being so vague with my comments.

"What if he sees Little Austin and just automatically hates me for keeping it a secret from him for three almost four years" I said, looking over at her with an extreme look of apprehension.

"Okay I'm going to just rip off the band-aid with this answer. Don't expect him to be dancing through a field of daisies and singing the sound of music when you tell him he has a son that you have been hiding from him for three years," I laughed at her analogy just slightly, but her words were resonating deeply in my head. "I mean, how would you feel if he hid someone from you for three years that was that significant"

I knew that she was right. No matter what Jodie tried to do to make this reveal go over smoothly, there were going to be some bumps in the road, more like craters. Regardless of the outcome, I would be the one who would ultimately be responsible for however he acted. What I did was wrong, no matter how much I thought I was saving him. Austy was his son and he deserved to know the truth.

We let go of Austy's hand as he started running over towards the slides happily starting to play as I sank down into a bench. "I'm such a self-centered inconsiderate bitch" I said, staring at my fingers that were playing with a loose string on the hem of my shirt.

Casey let out a shy smile as she looked over at me, "girl you did what you thought you had to so that he would have his dream. Do I think that after he made it big you should've told him? I'd be lying if I said no. He did deserve to know Charlie, I think you were just having a hard time wrapping your head around how" she said, trying to comfort me from my thoughts. I felt the emotions start to well inside of me at her words as I pushed all the other what if's to the furthest corner of my brain as I looked over at her, tears fogging up my eyes as I blurted it out.