Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

7.2

Charlie's POV

"Mommy?" my very curious toddler asked me while we were sitting on the couch watching a rerun of Paw Patrol, a bowl of fresh strawberries sitting in his lap and his milk sitting on the cushion next to him.

"Yes honey" I said with a smile, my fingers coming up to run through his soft curly hair as I waited for him to tell me exactly what had to be running through his mind on loop if he was preparing himself to ask me.

"When will I see Dadda again?" His question made my breath catch in my throat and my fingers stall in their motion of moving through his unruly locks—something he definitely inherited from Austin—as I swallowed hard. That lump that seemed to always quickly form in my throat at the mention of his name in any shape or form instantly residing in its favorite spot as I took a few minutes to make sure I'd be able to keep myself together before giving him his answer.

"I'm not sure buddy. Daddy has been really busy singing and hasn't been home, that's why we came here to be close to Grandma Jodie and Grandpa Rich" the lie that left my mouth becoming easier and easier to say making me feel like I was starting to believe it as well. I had to think of something to tell him, I couldn't spill my guts to him that his Dad left me for another woman—not like he'd understand that anyway—so I took the easy way out and relied on his job, using it as the main reason he's been away for almost two months.

"Oh" he said somberly, his hands wringing together as he looked back up at me with his sad blue eyes. "And Nana and Pop?" he asked curiously.

"I'm  not sure buddy, but when they have time to travel down here I'm sure that they will let me know" I said trying to seem happy as I was talking about the three people who had hurt me the most but still mattered to me more than anything. He nodded his head slowly at my answer leaving me feeling unsure if he was accepting what I said or wondering what really happened for us to live in Texas away from everyone he loved aside from me and Austin's parents.

He returned back to his zombie like state, his stare fixated on the pups who were saving the day yet again allowing me to focus on the thoughts that were running through my head.

The decision to come home was a hard one, every part of me wanting to work things out with Austin, to show him that I loved him more than anything in this world and tell him where my actions and attitudes were coming from. But, as I sat in the bathroom for hours the day I found out he had been sleeping with another girl, my heart couldn't win over my brain. I tried, I tried like hell to switch it off and just let my heart guide me in the other direction but it was no use. I found myself packing my bags the next day, Austin watching me the entire time without saying anything that would try to sway my decision. It hurt to know that he wanted me gone, he may not have come right out and said it, but his actions spoke louder than his words in this scenario. He had ample opportunities to stop me, to tell me that he loved me and wanted to work this out, not just for us but for our kids. He of all people should know what it is like to be raised with one parent and I guess that thought led me to believe that he would want to fix us. But, I guess his side chick meant more to him than me and his kids and that feeling was like a stab in the heart.

Austy didn't take it well, especially since he and Austin formed a bond during the time we lived with him that I felt no one would ever be able to replace. He sobbed into Austin's chest, begging for him to come with us that he didn't want to be anywhere without him again. Austin was emotional—well emotional for Austin—and I thought the sight and sound of his child begging for him to stay would have flipped a switch in him and bring him back to the reality that he had bigger obligations than only thinking of himself and his feelings, but even the sobbing of our son couldn't sway his decision.