Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

1.0

February 2015- Charlie's POV

"Shhh Austie, Mommy's here it's okay" I said quietly as I picked up my squirming 11 month old and walked downstairs to the kitchen to heat up a bottle.

I bounced him lightly up and down on my hip, singing his favorite lullaby as I waited for the bottle to heat up. I grabbed it quickly from the bottle warmer when it beeped and made my way back up to the nursery, sinking down into the comfortable recliner.

Things have been going good for me. Thanks to my parents I'm still going to school part time and taking care of little Austin the other part. He is a mirror image of his Daddy and seeing him grow and look more and more like him everyday brings me so much happiness. He's got my olive complexion and lighter brown colored hair, but inherited Austin's cute curls and gorgeous blue eyes. I'd be lying if I said he got most of his looks from his Mom because everything about him screams Austin, and I'm okay with that.

I still talk with Austin two or three times a week which is more than I could ask for. He's doing well and is still the same old Austin aside from the new braids he is sporting in his hair, but they looked good on him.

My feelings for him definitely haven't changed. Now that little Austin was in my life, I felt more connected and in love with him then I did before, but I was able to keep my feelings in check now when I talked to him and we were almost able to hold normal conversations.

He doesn't know about his son and I intend to keep it that way. Not because I want to keep the result of our amazing weekend together a secret, but because I don't want him to feel like he has an obligation to come back and take care of me. Most of my friends think I'm wrong, that he deserves to know he has a son but I can't do that to him.

He's been sharing a lot of things he's been writing with me and I really think he's just a song away from someone discovering him, and sharing the news of little Austin with him right now would ruin all of that for him and I don't want to be the person to do that.

I looked down at my precious boy sleeping peacefully again in my arms as I grabbed the bottle from his mouth and set it on the small table next to me. I slowly got up still humming his favorite song and laid him peacefully in his crib, restarting his white noise machine incase he woke up.

I quietly went back down the hall to my room closing the door partly behind me and walked over to my bed falling into it like it was the softest thing I've ever felt. I positioned myself comfortably under the covers and turned on my TV, sleep always taking a while after I woke up for his night feeding, when I felt my phone ring.

I looked over at it curiously and laughed to myself as I saw Austin's name and face appear on my screen.

"It's midnight there he's gotta be drunk"  I laughed to myself as I picked up the phone.

"Hey Austy"

"Hey baby girl, I didn't wake you did I?" he asked me, my breath still catching in my throat each time he referred to me as if we were still together.

"No I was up" I laughed, he wasn't as drunk as I thought so I was curious what this was about.

"Still can't sleep huh baby, did you go see your doctor maybe they can give you something to help" he said with a caring tone.

"I have and they suggested trying melatonin pills first so I'll give them a try before we go to the heavy duty drugs" I laughed, even though I was aching inside that I couldn't tell him it was because I was taking care of his beautiful son.

"As long as you get your sleep, I need you healthy baby. Please take care of yourself" he said with a slight slur.

"I will baby I promise" I said quietly, suddenly craving to be with him.