Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

6.8

Austin's POV

I dropped my head in my hands as I watched her walking away from me knowing too well that going after her right now would be completely useless. She was always a hard one to compromise with when she was mad, add pregnancy hormones in on top of that and I might as well be grabbing a shovel as I dug myself my own hole. I hated this, I hated every part of this. I couldn't understand how one thing—even though it was a big thing—could bring us right back to square one just like that. Things were going amazing for us, it actually felt easy being in a relationship with her and I've never seen her happier and now I was going to have to struggle to bring us back to that spot.

I sat back on the couch feeling like I was always the one who was trying, the one who was always putting into the relationship giving it everything I had as I tried to juggle my life between giving adequate amount of time to my job which was going to be paying for my family while also being a good Dad and boyfriend to Charlie and Austy. I tried to make everything so easy for her, I even got her a Nanny to be with her 24/7–even though I know she didn't need her—to help as she got further along in her pregnancy so she is less stressed and still, one little situation comes up and I'm the bad guy....again.

I grabbed my pack of smokes off of the table quickly lighting one as I rested my head back on the back on the couch when I heard someone walk in. I lifted my head to see a tired looking Doris walking towards me as she sat herself on the couch across from me.

"Hey Doris, sorry if we woke you up" I said shyly, trying to keep the smoke away from her out of respect as she gave me a sympathetic look.

"It's okay honey, I was just going to get some milk for Austy and I happened to overhear" she said softly. Every part of me was so glad that we decided on Doris as our Nanny, the fact that she reminded us so much of our Moms being a huge deciding factor.

"Listen I know it's none of my business, but I feel like over the last three months that you two are like my kids and I feel the need to help" she smiled, my own kind smile returning hers as I gave her a small head nod.

"She loves you Austin there is no doubt about that. I see it every time you're at the studio and you text or call her. Her whole face lights up and she gets giddy like a high schooler. The way you two act with each other, how she's always thinking and talking about you when you're not here" she said with a smile, my own lips curving up on the edges a I leaned my forearms against my thighs paying close attention to her.

"I think she's thinking with her emotions first instead of thinking logically. She's pregnant yes but that isn't an excuse. I'm not trying to stick up for her, but I think you caught her off guard. I know you didn't hold out on her on purpose, you probably just found out today yourself, but it's a lot for her to wrap her head around. And, I think she's scared" she said to me, my head dropping low as her last words absorbed into my skin like water into a sponge.

Her last words made how she acted come full circle to me. Yes she was pregnant and that played an even bigger role in this than Doris thought. I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck as I picked my head up to look at Doris.

"I left her the last time she was pregnant, and true she never told me but I could see why she's scared. The thought of me traveling and something happening and then she has to go through the whole pregnancy by herself and then raise Tabi by herself. I would think with my emotions too" I said shaking my head as I dropped it low again.

She was quiet, leaving me to wonder if she was contemplating my words or just didn't know how to answer when I felt the cushion dip beside me and her hand come to rub my back.