Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

4.0

I shook my head looking at her, a smile on my face but not one of excitement like I feel she was hoping for, rather one of complete shock and betrayal. I was still in utter disbelief that she hid this from me, to the point where I wasn't really sure how to act. I ran my hand over my neck, looking down at the ground before looking back up at her, quickly averting my gaze as I turned my back towards her. Both of my hands came up to my face as I ran them slowly down, pulling the skin with them as I tried to let this all sink in.

I stood with my back towards her for several minutes, before finally gathering myself enough to be able to talk to her, "how old is he Charlie?" I asked her in a tone that was slightly more harsh and ragged then what it should've been, completely forgetting that our parents were in the room. I kept my gaze intent on her as I slid my hands back in my pockets tilting my head at her as I raised my eyebrows. "What? Did you forget how old our son is now too? Or is that something else you just want to keep a secret from me" I spat out, more angry than I wanted to be at that moment.

I saw her face twist into a surge of emotions as the tears started to fall from her eyes. A part of me wanted to run up and wipe them away, telling her that it was all going to be okay, but I knew deep inside that I couldn't do that because those words weren't filled with 100% truth. I didn't know if it was going to be okay, I didn't know if we were going to be okay. She took a deep shaky breath, sniffing in some of her tears as she quietly answered me.

"He's three Austin, he'll be four in a few months" she said, placing her lips gently to his head as she looked at me, her eyes pleading for understanding as she started to walk over towards me as I started backing up from her yet again. I put both hands on the side of my head shaking it gently as I tried to comprehend what she had just said to me. Sure he looked older, but I didn't think he was that old. I looked up at her, my face a mix of anger and sadness as I started talking to her in a louder voice than necessary.

"Are you fucking kidding me Charlie! He's fucking four years old! And not once, did you ever fucking think to tell me that we had a baby, not once!? How could you be so fucking selfish to not... to not share this with me?" I asked, my tone and look becoming soft and filled with sadness as I looked at her as my lips spit out the last six words.

She wasn't able to hold it in any longer as the tears started to pour out of her eyes like rain washing down a gutter in a heavy downpour. I don't know who did it, or when it happened but my son was out of her arms quickly as she walked up to me grabbing my hand in both of hers. I looked down at it momentarily, thinking deeply if I wanted to keep it there when I pulled it away from her only causing the tears to spill harder. "Austin please, I thought I was doing you a favor. I didn't want to ruin your chance at living your dream. I didn't want to make you feel like you were tied down before you even had the chance to see if you could do it. Please, I did it for you" she cried, falling to her knees in front of me as her hands enveloped her face, her shoulders shaking heavily.

I took a deep breath and crouched down in front of her, at least giving her the decency to talk to her like a human instead of talking down on her like an animal. I pulled her hands away from her face, her head still hanging low as she continued to sob uncontrollably. Her words still hadn't really registered with any part of me and maybe if they had I would've seen the sincerity behind her gaze as I put my finger under her chin pulling her head up to look at me, but in this moment it wouldn't have mattered.

"Did you ever think that maybe you would've done me a better favor by telling me that I had a son with the girl I love. There's no better dream than that Charlie" I said, both of our eyes filled with so much sadness as she started to cry again.

"Austin I am so sorry, I am so sorry I hid him from you. I thought I was doing the right thing. Please forgive me, please" she begged, her hands coming up to grab my left one in both of hers as I slowly shook my head back and forth.