Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

6.9

Charlie's POV

Austin's one month tour was going surprisingly well, making me feel foolish that I had any doubts about him going away without myself and Austy. It was still hard being without him don't get me wrong. Having Doris around was a lifesaver though, she was my rock that I would turn to when my thoughts were trying to lead me down a bad road. But, even though I had her and she made things easier, it didn't help when trying to explain to a very confused Austy that his Dad was working away and wouldn't be back for a while. Attempting to make him understand that was something harder than I had thought it would be. He would always say that he would understand what I meant, but every day when he woke up he would ask if he was coming home today.

I was grateful that Austin stuck to the promise that he made to Austy. He called him most nights—sometimes it just wasn't possible for Austin to call him which I understood due to weird show times—always telling him his favorite bedtime story before telling him how much he loved him and couldn't wait to come back home to see him and play with him before Austin and I would sneak away to have our own conversation. It was nice to talk to him, but it didn't make up for the loneliness that I felt when he was gone. I didn't like sleeping in the big empty bed without him, often times waking up in the middle of the night looking for him thinking that he was just in the bathroom when I would remember that he wasn't home with me and wouldn't be home with me for several more days.

Mornings were a little easier for Austin to stick to his promise that he made Austy, although some mornings it looked like we had just woke him up he always had a smile on his face as he drug his exhausted body from his small bed on the bus, pouring himself a bowl of cereal so he could have his  breakfast with Austy. He would always listen intently as Austy would explain what he was going to do with me and Doris for the day while I promised to take pictures and send them to him so he wouldn't miss out on anything that his son was doing.

Doris was always good with giving me and Austin some alone time, most of the time coaxing Austy away from the iPad after he finished his cereal. Most of the time our conversations were centered around him expressing to me how much he missed me and wished that I could've been with him. I would ask him questions about how his tour went and sometimes I would show him the pictures that surfaced of his show and some clips, loving that his face would turn red at some of the things that were posted. I always loved looking at them, it made me feel connected and that I wasn't missing out on anything, but mostly I loved seeing him doing what he loved. I was always so proud and elated to call him mine.

We talked about Tabi—Austin always being concerned with how I was doing and feeling—I filled him in on all the information that I received about her from the appointment and showing him our beautiful girls 3D ultrasound that he missed while he was away. I could already tell that he was so in love with his daughter, but I could also tell that it was eating at him that he couldn't be there for every part of the pregnancy. I always reassured him that this was different, it wasn't like it was when I was pregnant with Austy and I would never hold it against him that he couldn't be at certain things because of work because him being away was only assuring that he would be able to provide for our family.

Of course Ashlen was brought up in our conversations. Even though Doris tried to tell me that I needed to forget about her being there and to trust Austin because he loved me, I couldn't let it go. He did reassure me that he had no idea that she was coming on the tour and that he had no idea what her purpose was for being there. He told me that she wasn't on his bus and that he kept as much distance from her as possible. I believed him, especially since there was no hiding her in that small bus, I would've seen her somewhere unless she hid herself in the bathroom for the hour that we were talking with each other. He reassured me just enough to stop me from incessantly bringing her up in every conversation that we had. I respected the patience that he had with me about the whole situation and reminded him of it daily only for him to remind me that I'm a handful but I'm his handful and he wouldn't have it any other way.