Changed Since Texas / Post Malone

4.6

Charlie's POV

"Morning Mommy!" a very happy Austy yelled to me from his booster seat at the kitchen table, my Mom having made him a steaming plate of scrambled eggs with two pieces of toast and a glass of orange juice.

"Morning baby!" I said excitedly, coming up behind him as I pressed a kiss to his curly locks. "Look at this breakfast that Grandma made you!" I said with a wide smile, pulling out the chair next to him as I sat down. I grabbed the pitcher of orange juice pouring myself a glass before grabbing one of the blegium waffles that lay on a platter in front of me.

"I know! It so good!" Austy said between mouthfuls of food, causing me to laugh as I reached over and messed up his hair. "Mommy, can we go to the park today?" he asked me, his face hopeful as he scooped another forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"Sure baby, that sounds like a great idea. Maybe Grandma wants to come too?" I asked, shifting my eyes over to my Mom who was quietly washing the dishes that she had used to make breakfast this morning. She looked over her shoulder at me, a wide smile on her face as she nodded her head at me before quickly returning to the task in front of her.

It was no secret that my life has taken a drastic change since I decided on cutting Austin out of my life temporarily three weeks ago. I won't lie that it was probably the hardest few days I have ever had, the burning desire to unblock him from my phone creeping up inside of me several times a day. Maybe if Austin had just been my boyfriend-or whatever you want to say we were for those few days-it would've been a lot easier to stop talking to him and pretend that he didn't exist. But Austin and I had a huge history, spending practically our entire childhood together and even still talking to each other every day for hours when he moved to Dallas.

There were so many memories that came crawling back to me as I worked on removing him from my head. I didn't want to forget any of them, as they were all special and important to me and also partly because I didn't want to forget him all together. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Austin was still a huge part of my life and he would be forever. He was Austy's Dad and despite whatever was going on between us, I never wanted to keep his son away from him.

I sent pictures to Rich and Jodie daily of their Grandson knowing that they were most likely forwarding them on to Austin. What Austin did with them, how he reacted to them, or if he even let his parents send them to him anymore was unbeknownst to me and I was okay with that. In my heart I knew that I was trying to do the right thing while still taking the step back from him that I desperately needed to take.

I still had my moments where I would cry myself to sleep at night, often times when my mind would wander to the what if's that haunted my brain. The main one that always seemed to knock on my door in the late hours of the night being him moving on with his life with another girl. I don't know what killed me the most about that thought, whether it was the fact that he wouldve found someone else or the fact that there was always the possibility that I was going to have to share our son with her knowing that I never got the chance to experience that myself with Austin. The last part of that thought always gave me a sense of entitlement though, that I would have to approve of her before ever letting Austy spend time with his Dad and whoever the new girl was, but it always quickly got expunged knowing that that would never happen.

"Mommy?" I heard Austy ask me, my thoughts being quickly brought back to my present surroundings as I looked over at him with a smile.

"Yes Austy" I said, reaching out my hand as I grabbed his small one in mine giving it a tiny shake.

"Will I ever see Daddy again?" he asked me, his voice sad as he moved his eggs around on his plate aimlessly with his fork. I shot my eyes over to my Mom for just a brief second as she gave me a weak smile. I knew that she couldn't help me out with this, this decision was completely up to me. Deep down I knew that he would, I just couldn't give him an exact time of when that would be.