My shower isn't working

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Y/n's pov

I haven't been here too long, and by now he's brought me a bag of some of my possessions. There are but two things clouding my mind: One, who the fuck am I supposed to bathe, and two, did he see my underwear?

"Did I do something?" he asks, pausing from cutting up vegetables. "Do you not like carrots?"

"What are you looking at? I'm just observing, making sure you don't try to pull a Yoonbum on me," I say.

"Okay..." he nods his head slowly. "I won't try to poison you, I promise."

I sens I've made a mistake...

"Do I smell like ass?" I ask. "Be honest."

"No, you smell fine, not that I smell you," he says. "Why?"

"I need to shower," I say. "Asap Rocky, a sponge bath is a no go, that's nasty."

"Well you'll have to wrap up your cast beforehand," he says. "I'll help you with that part."

"Blessed," I say.

"Do you need anything else?" he asks.

"Nope," I shake my head, still staring at him. "Not a thing."

"You're looking at me like I just committed a crime against you," he says. "If it's because I made you practice crutches today then I am sorry."

I nearly forgot about that part, but it was swaggy, if anything I should apologize for throwing them at him the other day.

"Did you see my underwear?" I ask.

"What?" he questions.

"You know what I'm talking about, did you or did you not see my underwear, like bras and shit?" I ask. "Just tell me so I know whether to throw myself odd the balcony or not. When you went to get some of my stuff, did you look?"

"I didn't pack your stuff, I just grabbed the bag that was labelled 'runaway'," he says. "I wouldn't look at your stuff."

"Oh yeah," I pause. "Okay, we're fine now."

"Is that why you've been staring at me like I just shaved your head?" he asks, resuming his work on the vegetables.

"Speaking of shaved heads, I need a haircut," I say.

"I'll take you to the hairdressers tomorrow," he says. "What do you want? Short like how it was when we met or-?"

"Wait no no no," I say. "Scrap that idea, I don't want short hair, I looked gross."

"I thought that it suited you," he shrugs. "But you'll look nice either way."

"Never ever say that it suited me, that haircut was traumatic and I'd rather not think about the events that happened afterward," I say. "It may result in a tell-all crying sesh, and I don't want one of those right now."

"Whatever you say, Bird," he says mixing shit together, not important.

"Also, did you buy new shampoo and stuff?" I ask.

"Yup, I got everything you could possibly need," he says. "And more."

So that why there are five boxes of cake mix in the cabinet... among other things.

"Are you magic or something?" I ask. "... Oh my god you're like Sabastian, from black butler. That's why you're so mystical and get everything done in five seconds."

"What can I say?" he laughs. "I'm simply one hell of a William."

"You are not real," I say. "I am convinced that you are some magic person that I made up in my head to... nevermind actually, it's weird."

"Well, most of the things you tend to say are," he smiles. "But I can't complain."

"Anyway, is the food done yet?" I ask. "I'm famished."

"No, I'm making stew," he says. "It takes a while."

"What? I'm starving," I say. "Who in their right mind would make stew, I'm gonna die."

"I sure do wonder who wanted stew," he says tapping his chin.

-About three hours ago-

"Christopher, Christopher!" I called out. "It's an emergency! Help!"

"What is it?" he asked swinging open the door. "Are you alright, what's wrong?"

Okay, maybe I could've been less... scared sounding.

"Queen Nicki has a song called 'Beef Stew' you need to make some!" I practically cried. "Christopher, she's the queen of rap!"

"You had me thinking you were dying or something," he sighs. "Don't do that."

"This is an emergency," I say. "I'll die."

"Okay it's an emergency, but don't make it sound like something terrible is happening," he says sweeping some of his hair out of his face. "You scared me."

"Yeah yeah," I say. "I won't sound like I'm about to get merked next time."

-Present time-

"I'd rather not acknowledge that moment in my life," I say turning my head away.

"Well it happened," he laughs again. "You woulda thought that you were in serious danger."

"It's not my fault you ran in ready to fight someone to the death," I say. "What are you, insane?"

"What if there was someone else in there?" he asks. "I need to make a grand entrance before I beat someone's ass."

"You'd beat their ass?" I ask. "Like for real?"

"Well yeah," he shrugs. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Um..." I pause. "I need to get changed then I need you to help me wrap up my cast."

"Of course," he says. "Don't fall over when you get changed."

"I'm not that dumb," I roll my eyes. "But thanks for your concern."


I am so tired, but I can't go to sleep without a shower.

-Crouton

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