Ur mom

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Y/n's pov

"Are you going to kill me now?" I ask.

"He wants you to sit now," Kasumi says. "The chair is behind you, you kind have to hop, its a tall one."

What the hell am I even doing now.

"Okay now don't move," she says. "He'll push you in so you don't mess up as per usual."

"Gee, thanks," I say. "I love the kind words."

"I'm just a narrator," she says. "I say it how it is."

"Where am I then if you're the narrator?" I ask.

"Um, the counter thing I don't know-Oh he says it's called an island," she says. "And he doesn't have a dining room table because he's stupid."

"Then he rolled his eyes," I say.

"Are you peeking?" she asks. "Because if you peek we have to kick you out."

"I'm not peeking," I say straining my ears to try to hear anything. "Just assuming, now what am I supposed to do?"

"Um... I think he wants a kiss," she says. "A big kiss?"

"A what?" I ask.

"Oh wait, not a kiss," she says. "You suck at charades, Mister, help me out."

"What's he doing?" I ask. "What kind of face?"

"A kissing face," she says. "I don't know what he wants."

"Well get him to use his brain an-What are you doing?!" I jolt bringing my hands to my neck. "Why are you blowing on me?"

"Okay, he's writing a note now," she says. "And think he just mouthed that we're fucking stupid."

"Kasumi you cannot say that word," I gasp. "People need to think I'm a good influence."

"What? The old hag's cleaner always calls me that fucking brat," she says. "What's so bad about it?"

"Kasumi, don't say fuck," I say. "Say anything but fuck, say crap."

"What about shit?" she asks. "Sounds cooler."

"No," I say.

"Mr. Neighbour guy Soji looks like he's about to cry," she says. "He's holding in his laughs, are you laugh at me?"

"I can't read when I'm blindfolded, idiot," I say.

"He looks irritated now," she says.

No more blindfold for me.

"What's the note say?" Kasumi says.

"Do not look around," so apparently he doesn't trust me based on the way both of his hands are holding my head so I don't try to get a peek at him. "Blow out the candles on your cake, happy birthday."

"Ta-dah!" Kasumi yells. "We got you a strawberry tiny cake from a cafe, and I totally didn't didn't eat ten out of the thirteen strawberries on top."

"Wow, thanks so much," I say folding the note and sliding it into my pocket. "And thank you." you."

"Blow out your candles now," Kasumi says. "I want cake."

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHhh! I got a birthday cake and I didn't even need to bed for it.

"What did you wish for?" Kasumi asks. "A car, a puppy, a cat?"

"I wished for-," I start.

"Oh I think he's gonna kill you by cutting our air off," she says.

"If I say what I wished for it doesn't matter," I mumble into his hand. "And you're gonna kill me."

"I think he mouthed sorry," she says grabbing a knife off the counter. "And I dare him to try something, I'll sashimi his ass."

"Kasumi, what did you watch with this guy to start talking like this?" I ask.

"I watched home videos of uh... his friend and his mom and stuff," she says. "And his siblings and stuff, don't worry about it short stack, don't worry your pretty little head about stuff like this."

"Um, okay then," I say nodding my head. "Oh, and the blindfold is going back on."

"We also went and bought you a gift, it was my idea," she says. "I spent his money so you don't need to feel bad."

"I refuse to accept it," I say shoving my hands in my pocket. "I can feel it, return it."

"No Y/n, we need to be matching," Kasumi says. "And you're supposed to take it."

"No, it's a bracelet," I say. "I can't match with you."

"You have to," she says. "It has to same charms."

"Yeah, that's the point," I say. "I don't feel like having a breakdown right now."

"Just take it please," she says. "Please I want to be matching with you, pretty please."

I don't think I have a choice.

"If I suddenly get a wave of depression it's your guy's fault," I say keeping my eyes closed after the bracelet is on and the blindfold is off again.

"Okay well this one is the old one that you gave me and I got the new one because that how the mafia works," she says. "But look, there's a strawberry charm, so you can remember the strawberry tiny cake."

"This is hurting my soul," I say looking at the familiar bracelet. "Like a lot."

"We're watching a movie now, no time to be sad," Kasumi says. "And you can look at Soji now."

When I tell you I whipped my head around, damm, I think I got whiplash.

"Why are you in a head to tow Tinky winky costume?" I ask, but he just shrugs. "What the fuck."

And I mean head to toe, not skin exposed, no nothing.

"She said the fuck word," Kasumi says. "It's actually discrimination that she can say it but not me."

"Kasumi, you cant' say the fuck word until you're seven," I say. "And is he going to wear this the whole time?"

"Uh-huh," she says. "Now cake and movie time."

What an odd birthday, but I can't say I'm mad about it.


Fuck you and fuck Christmas, follow my TikTok, in bio.

-Crouton

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