"We Are Just Friends"

"forgive me for staring."

**Author's note**

**Omg, guys please forgive me, but the previous chapter I had Jesika's husband's name as "Greg", everyone his name is "Anthony". I write so many stories, and have so many characters. I got it mixed up, lol. Please understand. **

*MILD SEXUAL CONTENT*

**Jesika's Point Of View** 

        "Come on Anthony, how long are you going to give me the silent treatment?" I asked, as he got ready for work this morning. He ignored, and fitted his tie around his neck. "I told you I'm very sorry about the other night, I only wanted to have fun." He raised his brows, and walked past me. I sighed, and threw my hands up. "Fine, don't talk to me. I'm over it, I really am." I said storming out of the room. I slammed the door behind me, and ran out the house to my car. I opened the door, and slammed it shut and released a scream. Marriage, can be so frustrating sometimes. Sometimes, I wonder what the hell I was thinking getting married. Sometimes, it's too much to bear. Truth is, I've always obsessed of having the perfect life, perfect marriage, being the perfect wife. Simply, because of what I had to go through growing up. My mom was a teen when she had me. She got married and became a divorcee and became a single mom too. My father, wasn't ready to man up to take care of his responsibilty and left my mom all on her own. I promised myself, that I wouldn't end up like my mother. Alone, and divorced. I saw, what it did to her as a woman. How it ruined her self esteem. How, it changed her outlook on life. I am scared of that feeling. I guess, that's why I hold on. Anthony, isn't the best man in the world. He really isn't. But, he is just "right" for me. Alot, of people don't seem to understand that. And it's okay. It's only for me to understand and nobody elese. I'm still trying to understand why I threw myself on Michael the other night. Maybe it was my "real" feelings coming out. Maybe, I realized what I had been missing all along. Maybe, it was the alcohol. Whatever, it was it has been on my mind all night. And, so has he.

        Maybe, I'm not over him like I think I am. Ohh gosh, what are you saying Jesika? You are a married woman. You can't keep dwelling into the past. The past is the past for a reason. It's just something about him, that I can't wrap my mind on. Maybe, it's those perfect wrinkles that forms on the cracks of his eyes, when he smiles at me. Maybe, it's his perfect cheekbones. Or is it those perfect teeth. His perfect jawline. His perfect hair. His perfect curls. His gorgeous brown eyes, that always seems to tell a story. I love it, when he looks at me. It's so hard to draw my eyes from his. His stare always had an affect on me. Always have, and always will. He finally shaved two weeks ago, and I was able to remember how much I love his "perfect" face. God, made no mistake when he made him. His scent drives me wild. His breath is always sweet, whenever he's near me. Sometimes, I miss the warmth of his hands all over me. I love how big and soft they are. Gosh, I have got to stop thinking about him in this way. I made it perfectly clear, that we are just friends. And, that's all we'll ever be. But, do I really mean that? I almost made "love" to him the other night. I almost had him. If that moment had came true, I would've "fucked" his brains out. It's been so "long" since I last had him. I would've made, sweet and intense love to him. That night, might've been a "sign" that Michael and I will never be. Everytime, we had a "chance" to have our encounter, it always got interrupted. Maybe, it's God telling me to not cheat.  Ohh great, there he goes. Walking past me. I honked my horn, getting his attention. He stopped in his tracks, and looked at me. I smiled at him, and motioned for him to come to me. I lowered the passenger window. "Hey, what's up Jes?" He asked me.