"We Are Just Friends"

"anyone can wear a smile."

**Jesika's Point Of View**

        I bammed on my Mother's door while in tears. I don't know why I had become so emotional all of a sudden. Maybe it's because Michael's "words" really got me. It hit my "heart" like a ton of bricks. My Mother opened the door, and stood stunned to see me in tears. I am not an emotional person at all, and I don't cry in front of everyone, not even my mother. I sobbed harder, and wrapped my arms around her neck and cried my heart out. She embraced me with no questions, and told me it would be okay. She sighed and rubbed my back so gently with her hands. She invited me inside, while never letting go. I soon pulled away, and looked down as the tears continued flowing. She caught every tear with her thumbs, as I sighed and closed my eyes. "Baby, what's wrong?" I looked into her piercing green eyes, and shook my head. "My life is so fucked up mommy, it really is." - "What happened?" - "Michael and I got into a fight." - "What did you two fight about?" - "Mother, what don't we argue about everytime he's around." She sighed, and shook her head. "That man really loves you Jesi, he does." - "I slept with him mommy. I cheated on Anthony." - "What? When did this happen?" My mother said with a slight smirk on her face, while looking me up and down. "Mommy, don't laught at a time like this. I'm really upset over this." I told her, while walking away to the living room to take a seat. I sat down, and put my hands over my head and sighed. "Sorry baby, I'm here. Sorry." I sighed again, and nodded. "Anthony and I have been having trouble lately, and I just felt so alone. I had no intentions to cheat, it just happened. Because, I wanted it to. I wanted it so bad, now Michael is starting to hate me. He hates me for not pursuing him. Why can't he just understand that what we had was the "past" and the "past" only. He told me "fate" would bring up back together, if we really were meant to be. Now, look at us, we're both in a marriage. We can't be." - "Bad marriages." My mother said.

       I lifted my head to look in her eyes, and waited for a reply for an explanation. She sighed. "Baby, I'm sorry. But, you know how I feel about Anthony. My spirit never agreed him, since you first introduced us. He's "narcissistic" "rude" "cruel" "mean". He reminds me so much of my own father growing up. I can't stand it. Most of all, I hate the way he treats you. I hate how he tries to "mold" you into someone you're not. I will never have respect for him, not ever. So don't count on it baby." - "Mommy, he's changed. He has." Mother rolled her eyes. "You know how long I've been hearing this, I've been hearing this for years. Baby, he hasn't. And he never will. Look at how he's destroying you. He doesn't let you have any friends, he doesn't let you get out. He made you cut off perfectly long, beautiful hair just to "please" him. Baby, nothing will change with a man like that. Nothing. I haven't seen any change. The man is poison." - "Mommy, you're never around him. So how do you know he hasn't changed?" - "Baby, it isn't hard to figure it out. When was the last time you've been out? When was the last time you've done something for "you". When was the last time you could remember you were "truly" happy? I looked down, and stared at the white floors. Damn it, why am I hearing moments of truths right now. First Michael, now Mother. "He has sucked the joy out of you baby, and I hate it. Anyone, can wear a smile. And it doesn't mean that one is happy. Baby that's you. When you were with Michael, I just remember seeing you so happy. When you two would come home to visit me. It was a beautiful glow within you. Your heart was so golden.  You laughed more. You were around me more. Where's that Jesika? I want her back. I want you and Michael back." - "Mommy, you know I can't be with him. I can't. He will not hurt me again. I won't have it." - "Baby, that was years ago. Things were different then." - "And things are different now. He told me he is moving on, and I am only allowed to be just his "friends" and "friends" only."