"We Are Just Friends"

"wishful thinking."

**Jesika's Point Of View**

Michael looked so pitiful while eating his steak with asparagus. He could barely chew his food. I knew what happened today was still heavy on his mind. As much as I tried to show it not being a bother, it really was. I hated seeing him like this. It broke my heart. I know what it's like to feel lonely. I'm going through it now. I placed my fork down and sighed. "Well.. Maybe you two can work it out." He lifted his eyes at me and stared without a blink. I twisted my lip to the side and looked away. I strongly wished I hadn't said anything about it. "Sorry." I mumbled softly.

He set his fork down as I looked over to him. He sat back on the chair and folded his arms while looking away. "I feel horrible about what I did. I'm such a horrible person. I don't deserve anyone." - "Michael, don't say that. Everybody needs somebody." He smirked and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and because of me you have no one." That response came out of nowhere. I grew startled, as I sat at the table frozen as ice. I didn't know what to say. I looked down and sighed. "You hate me for it don't you?" He asked me.

I lifted my eyes to his and swallowed hard. "Michael you are not the blame for anything at all. Please stop." - "No, but I am. If I wouldn't have pursued you again. You'd still have Anthony. You'd still have it all." - I licked my lips and pursed them together. "I never had it all Michael. Never." I said softly while looking down. "What do you mean Yana?" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I wanted kids. He didn't. I wanted them so badly." - "Why didn't he want kids?" Michael asked. I nodded. "He didn't want me to get fat and lose interest, so he said. He had me on birth control the whole time." I said a bit choked up, holding back my tears. I began to chuckle and nod my head. "You know what's funny. He's remarried and has a kid. Something I've always wanted, he gave to someone else. Ohh and she's pregnant again. Maybe four months or so." I placed my hand underneath my chin and sighed hardly. "I saw him that day we ran into one another in the parking lot. He looked so happy. The happiest I've never seen him before. He didn't even acknowledge me when he saw me. He just stared and looked away. He walked right past me with no concern at all."

"That hurt me badly. But it's okay I deserve it. Look at what I did to him. He deserves better. His new wife is gorgeous and his baby girl. She looks so much like him." I said to myself smiling. I then looked down staring at the floor in silence. He reached over the table and grabbed my hand that was under my face. "I'm sorry J. I didn't know." My eyes watered as I forced a smile. "It's life right? You learn from it." - "Where did you go when you left?" - "I can't tell you that." I told him. "Why not?" - "Sometimes I want to go back. And I wouldn't want anyone to find me. Just know that's it far, far away." He rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. "Why would you want to go back?" He asked. I shrugged and looked away. "Come on talk to me." He asked.

He pushed his chair back and walked towards me. He kneeled in front of me, and held my face. "Talk to me. Tell me why you would want to go back and leave me again? Your family and friends?" My tummy grew butterflies when he made it about him almost. It was heartfelt. More water grew in my eyes, as I batted them. I shook my head. "I only came back for my mother. I know how much she needed me and missed me. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here. I'd be starting over like I wanted. I wouldn't have to cry every night. I wouldn't have to question my situations. I wouldn't have to see Anthony again. I wouldn't have to face my past. I wouldn't have to be reminded by the heartache I cost you or Anthony or myself. I wouldn't be reminded that I am alone. When I was away I didn't have to think about those things, I left it all behind me. Now that I'm back everything has been reappearing and it's driving me fucking crazy."

Michael's stare grew extremely intense. I almost felt like I wanted to kiss him just to figure out my problem. Am I really angry because deep down inside I'm thinking he's the one I want to be with? Am I mad because I think I would want to start over with him? But, do it right this time. Tears came flowing down my face. "I just wish I never came back. Please tell me why you didn't marry Shana. Was it me? Am I the reason? Did I hurt you so bad you were afraid she'd put you through the same thing?" I asked him in tears. "Please, tell me. Please." I whispered brokenly. He swallowed hard and looked down. "I-I just wasn't ready." He said looking down. I sniffled. "Are you sure that's all?" He nodded stiffly and kept his eyes to the ground. "We are both a mess." I stated. He lifted his eyes to mines and began playing in my curls. It was hard to pull my eyes from his, because I wanted to figure him out.

I wanted to understand his thoughts since he doesn't want to open up all the way. I couldn't read anything. "I never stopped loving you Jesika. God knows I didn't." He whispered wholeheartedly. "No matter how far you were or what we've been through I never stopped." I grew loss for words as his chocolate eyes took a toll on me. I found our faces moving inches closer to one another. My doorbell soon went off as I jumped and pushed him off. He fell on his bottom and gasped. I wasn't expecting anyone, I'm not sure who was outside. I opened the door to see no one at the door. I furrowed my brows and stepped out on my porch. Still no one.

The wind grew heavy and all I could hear were the loud whistles pierce to my ears. And the leaves brushing together through the bushes and trees. I looked to my left and then to my right. Still nothing. I felt this moment was weird because this had never happened before. Maybe the person ran away after realizing they had the wrong house. Whatever it was I wasn't going to let it worry me. With that being said and done I went back inside. I found Michael knocked out laying on my sofa. I couldn't help but smile while shaking my head. I closed the door behind me. I bolted my door. And went in my closet to grab him a blanket. I spreaded it across his body and turned the lamp off. I leaned down towards his face to plant a kiss on his cheek. I walked to our dishes that was sitting on the dinner table.

I threw it in the trash and washed our plates and champagne glasses. I am so happy tomorrow is Sunday. I have one more day where I can lay back and relax before work Monday.

*MONDAY*

I screamed as I looked around for my red bottoms. I was running behind thanks to my stupid alarm not going off. I'm going to be late for work. Today is not the day, I already hate working with my moms best friend already. The last thing I need is a lecture from her. I finally found my red bottoms and threw them on quickly. I grabbed my briefcase and ran out of my room to get to my front door. I ran out to my car. I stood frozen and gasped as I saw my rear and back tire flattened. "Fuck!" I screamed while throwing down my briefcase. I jumped and down on the ball of my feet and screamed again. This can not be happening. My tires were just fine yesterday. Hell their barely old. I can't call Daisy or my mom to help me because they're working.

The last person I want to call is him. I sighed and picked up my briefcase and went back inside.

I phoned Michael and asked for a ride. Luckily, he was on vacation and took some days off which was intended for the honeymoon. He gladly accepted and picked me up. We drove in silence. I took a deep breath while staring out the window. "Today is not my day." I whispered to myself. "Sorry about your car." He said. "I don't get it those are brand new tires. How in the hell did that happen?" He shrugged and shook his head while gripping his hands tighter to the steering wheel. "I don't know Yana." I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. "Well. Would you mind picking me up? I get off at 5." - "Yeah sure." - "Great. I'll get new tires whenever I'm off again." - "Would you like me to help you out until then?" I looked over at him and smiled. "Sure if you would."

"Sure, no problem." I smiled hardly, and looked out the window. This moment reminded me of why I fell in love with him in the first place. He's so caring. "I think we should talk later." He told me. I looked over at him. "Sure, okay." I told him. He soon dropped me off. I ran inside rushing to the elevator so that I could get in my office before bumping into Annette.

I ran to my office and touched the doorknob before I heard. "Jesi you're late!" I sighed and whispered. "Fuck!" I took a deep breath. "Yes I know." I said turning around to face her. "I'm sorry. My alarm didn't go off, and my tires are flat." Annette sighed and shook her head. "Okay, well get to work. I have orders for you to put in for some flowers. Get to it please." She asked before walking away. I rolled my eyes and walked away. I went inside my office and took a seat. I leaned back on my chair and sighed while closing my eyes.

There was a knock at the door. I sighed and got up. This better not be Annette. "Yes?" I asked while opening the door. I gasped at the appearance before me. It was Shana. What the fuck? My eyes widened and my mouth grew dry. She forced a smile. "I hope you don't mind, but I decided to stop by since I was on this side of town. I think we need to talk." I forced a smile and nodded. I looked away then back to her. She took a deep breath and forced a smile again.

**To be continued**

**note to my readers:**
This is the start of a great beginning. Just sit tight to see how this story will unfold! Thank you for your support. It's greatly appreciated!! ❤️