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Advice Request
This person keeps dreaming about someone who isn't their partner.

Answered Submission
Hello lovely,

Firstly I’m so glad you found this page again, it makes us happy to know that people can still count on us!

Secondly, you don’t need to worry because the way you’re feeling right now is actually extremely normal in relationships. You’ve stated that you’re fully in love with your current partner, yet you’re having these dreams about someone you have occasionally spoken to and that’s okay, you can’t exactly control what you dream about. For example in dreams people you’ve seen for even a split second can be like the ‘main character’ in that dream, does this indicate that they mean something to you? No.

You’ve said you’re not going to pursue this guy which is great and I respect that, I definitely think that’s the way to go because I can tell that you love your current partner but maybe your just genuinely curious about this person, I suggest getting to know this person more perhaps, it could be just a way that your brain is telling you that it wants to get to know this person and there’s nothing wrong with that, despite you being in a relationship you’re still allowed to get to know someone in a friendly way instead of trying to pursue anything romantically. And the regardless of whether the person in your dreams is a woman or man, it shouldn’t matter since they’re either just gonna be another stranger to you or another friend. If you feel anxious since they’re romantic dreams, you could consider distancing yourself further from the person as well. You shouldn’t have to pay a stranger that much thought since the more you think about someone, the more likely you’ll see them in your dreams.

Please don’t feel like a bad person because you’re not at all, you’re just going through something that most people do in relationships and it’s out of your control. It is very nice to see you completely in love with your boyfriend and that’s assuring. I’m so happy that you like these books, all we want to do is help people out in anyway that we can!

Much love and I hope you’re safe in these current conditions.
Thank you,
The Advice Column Team

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