The Advice Column IV

786

Advice Request
This person wants to know how to pursue their crush.

Answered Submission
Hello,
When it comes to pursuing our crushes, confidence is key. Not so much in execution (we can't all be smooth criminals), but in mustering up the courage to make the first move. Most of the time, the first move is a "hi.”

Unfortunately, there isn't a foolproof guide to building confidence fast. It doesn't work that way. But what's important is not the amount of courage you have, but what you do with it. So you aren't confident enough to flirt with her yet. Start with a friendly greeting. Say hi when you pass her in the hall, or before class. After that, you can start having little conversations over text or in person when you see her. Small talk may not always be riveting, but it is important. It's a base to start off at, a platform to launch into bigger, deeper conversations later on. As you start to build a friendship with her, you'll gain the confidence you need to flirt with her, or maybe ask her out if you know she's comfortable with that.

Keep in mind, it is important to know her boundaries as well as your own. Is she responding well to your flirting? Is she comfortable with that? If she doesn't express her feelings to you explicitly, then you'll need to either ask her (which can be daunting but is a good idea if you're unsure of how she feels), or try to read her body language and responses.
Ultimately, it's not always a quick process. Building confidence happens over time. A good tip to keep in mind is that you're not building the confidence to ask her out right now, you're building the confidence to be comfortable with her, and vice versa.

I hope this helps, dear. Good luck, and feel free to message us for more advice!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team