The Advice Column IV

768

Advice Request
This person needs help with a number of issues.

Answered Submission
Hello,
So there's a handful of items to go through here. Let's take it one piece at a time, starting with how to help your friend.

This is a hard situation for anyone to handle, and unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do to help other than just be there for her. It can feel like a very powerless moment as a friend who wants to help but can't do anything about it. I know, but it's the only thing you really can do. Be there for her. Support her. Love on her. Be her friend. You shouldn't pressure her to open up to you because that would be detrimental to not only her, but to your relationship as well. The last thing you want to do is put strain on a relationship you're already a little confused in, especially on a person who needs comfort and space as contradictory as that may sound.

As for the confusing lack of titles in your relationship, the only thing you can really do there is talk to her and figure out where you both stand, and what you want. My issue with this is her emotional state with her situation, and your trouble with jealousy. She probably doesn't need to be thinking about romantic relationships when she's hurting and upset. I wouldn't advise pursuing a romantic relationship here. I think the best option is to support her as her friend, and leave it at that.

Let's dive a little further into your issue with jealousy. An important thing to remember here is that you getting jealous is not her fault. Neither is it the people who she's opened up to or hugged, romantically or otherwise. I fear you may be reading a little too far into those types of situations. Of course, I could be wrong, but it is something to think about. Ultimately, you feeling jealous is something you might have to learn to logic through, or in other situations openly communicate, and be willing to listen. For example, if when you're in a romantic relationship and your partner hugs a friend, and it makes you jealous, you should be able to bring that to them openly, but also listen to their feelings on the matter as well. Open communication is a useful skill to learn and use,  but in this situation, given that you two are not officially together, you can't expect the same from it. She is entirely allowed to hug other people, or open up to them about her life. As much as you may want to be her number one, you also have to allow yourself to give her the room she needs to grow, and yourself as well.

I hope this helps, love. If you have any other requests, feel free to reach out to us again, and we will be happy to help you!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team