The Advice Column IV

689

Advice Request
This person is not on good terms with their friends lately.

Answered Submission
Hey,

I’m sorry for your loss. Losing someone so precious, going through all those taunts and having no one besides you must be so hard on you. The fact that you reached out to us shows that you have hope in things getting better and I pray they get better for you. Thank you for surviving till now.

Well, talking about your friend first. Honestly, I don’t think anyone should believe someone who tries to bring them down or taunt them. If your friend keeps saying such words, it’s because they’re insecure themselves! No confident person would ever bring down another person. It is only because they’re insecure about themselves that they do this to you. So, trust me, don’t believe them. I’m glad you’re not showing any reactions to them because then they’ll do it more. Continue to ignore them. Just smile at them and don’t say anything if they keep saying such bad things.

Fat shaming is wrong because there is absolutely nothing wrong with fat. If it’s the weight your body is comfortable with, then you don’t have to change. If you want to lose weight, do it because you want to, not because someone else wants it.

And sweetheart, there is no one ugly in this world. We’re all born different and not all of us can have the same beauty. Show off the ‘ugly’ parts that your friends make fun of. Tell them about your flaws yourself and they’ll think you’re confident about it. If you open up and talk about your flaws first and say it to them: “I like my eyes, I like my nose, I like myself. Even if it looks bad to you, I think it’s pretty cute.” Show off your confidence and when they make fun of it, show them indifference. Nobody is ugly—everyone just has a type.

Your family situation must be hard on you. If your family nags at you for chores, you should first pause and think about whether it’s your fault or not. Because sometimes chores are your responsibility and you should do them but then you could get annoyed at family for scolding you too and think all of it is their fault. So calm down when they nag at you and think fo whether it was your fault or not. If it wasn’t, just apologize and say you didn’t know and you don’t think it’s your fault. If it is, try to make up for it by making the family members happy.

If they nag you about anything else too, use the same method of thinking whether it’s your fault or not.

I think you should try to get close to your family members during such times. Maybe play games together, watch movies together or bake them some cookies, help them with homework or house chores or just go shopping together, have a family dinner outing. Such things. Try your best to get close to them and it’s normal to lose your temper if someone scolds you, so during such times: drink water first. You don’t want to let the anger out on them accidentally. Have a talk if you feel wronged, alright? Don’t shout, just sit down and have a talk.

Have some alone time for yourself too. Take care of yourself by reading your favorite books, listening to your favorite music and watching funny content of people you like, watching your favorite dramas or taking care of your body. Self-care is always important. Just because you’re breathing, it means you have the right to be respected. Don’t let anyone bring you down.

I hope everything goes well. Please keep having hope.

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team