The Advice Column IV

738

Advice Request
This person sometimes wants to be with their friends but sometimes they just want to be alone.

Answered Submission
Hello again!

This is not an uncommon occurrence, and how you deal with it is entirely up to you. If you want to give them another collective chance as a friend group then do so by all means, but you should keep in mind how they've hurt you in the past and how many times they apologised and then didn't adjust their behavior afterwards. That's not to say that you shouldn't give them another chance if that's what you really want. We want to be around our friends, but you need to figure out who in this group are your friends, and who are not because from what you've written in the previous request there are a few who I would not consider to be good friends.

Maybe take a dual approach. Give them a chance, but don't be around them 24/7. Let yourself be alone when you need to be, and only seek them out when you feel comfortable and safe around them. And since they seem to want you around given then they're apologising, I think it might be a good thing to talk to them about how you've been feeling as well. That way, you have an opportunity to clear the air and reach a level of understanding with them. They know what they've done wrong, and you have a chance to vent your hurts and frustrations in a productive way. Then, you also have a conversation to fall back on if things continue the way they have been, so you know that you gave them multiple chances and that you did everything you could have to work with them.

I sincerely hope this helps, love. Friendships are hard sometimes, and I hope you and your friends figure it out. Feel free to reach back out any time!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team