The Advice Column IV

787

Advice Request
This person does not know how to deal with the issues in their life.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I'm sorry to hear that you're in such a rough spot. Life can be hard when you don't have anyone to lean on. Try as you might, no one can solve all their problems by themselves but I am proud of you for trying to make it better.

My biggest suggestion to you is that I strongly encourage you to look into counseling or therapy. If you haven't already considered it, look into it now. Having a good therapist who you can talk to is so beneficial, and if one of you biggest struggles right now is that you don't have anyone to talk to about stress and issues in your life, then a therapist is a great option. They're not there to tell you what or how you're feeling, and they can't give you all the answers you may be looking for, but they can help you sort through your thoughts and feelings in an organized fashion so that you can better understand them. They serve as a venting outlet with the added goal of giving you further tools to process and cope through these issues better. And going to a therapist doesn't mean you're "broken" or "sick" in any way. It just means that you saw you needed help, so you went and got it. Now, if that's not something you can afford on your own (for example, if you're still in school), talk to your parents about getting you to see a therapist. Another option could be school counselors. There are many resources for finding therapists both online, and in-person. Better Help is a good online therapy service that you can use anywhere and base your sessions around your schedule. If you're in college or university, your school might have mental health services available to students. You can also find therapists locally by searching for therapists in your area. You should be able to view a profile for all the available therapists, with notes about their specific specialties as well. You can also use this to find therapists that take your insurance.

I encourage you to talk to your parents about this. You don't have to disclose everything to them if you don't want to, but tell them that you've been in a rough spot and would like to talk to someone about it. In the meantime, keep trying your hobbies. Look into new ones as well! And this may sound weird, but try talking to yourself. Out loud, have a conversation with yourself about how you're feeling and what is making you feel that way. Watch a video, laugh out loud and talk to the air about how funny that was. Think of it like this. Your thoughts are a tightly wound ball of yarn. It's a tangled, overwhelming mess, but by talking through some of it, you are picking up part of the string, and untangling it. It might feel weird or uncomfortable to first. Silly even! But trust me, it really does help. The act of talking and hearing yourself talk will help you start to unwind that ball of yarn and process. It's a process in self-talk and introspection. Not only are you working into your own head, but when you talk out loud to yourself you can better hear how you talk to yourself internally. If you practice a lot of negative self-talk, it'll show in here, and you can address it. As simple as it is, changing the way you think and talk to yourself changes your entire outlook on life. It won't fix all your problems, but it is a great start.

Making online friends is another great way to let it all out. Social media these days makes it easy for you to connect with people with the same interests, so try it out and see if you find friends (even if they’re temporary) to talk with and have a good conversation.

I hope this helps, love. Feel free to come back for more advice anytime!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team