The Advice Column IV

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Advice Request
This person wants to know if they should end a friendship or not.

Answered Submission

Breaking up with a friend is always a hard thing to do. On one hand, you don't want to do something harsh to your friend because at the end of the day, they're still your friend; but on the other hand, some people can be a little bit hard for us to keep being friends with.

If I were to take my own experience into account, I never ended the friendship. Instead I just let whatever happened, happened. We're still friends and they're a better person now because fortunately, people change. But maybe it got better for me because I didn't hang out with that person as much when we got into different classes as time was limited and we had different schedules.

As for you, there are a few approaches that you can take.

1. If you would still want to remain friends, be direct with her regarding her personality. I have a pet peeve where I hate people taking my food without my permission or without me offering first. I know it's trivial matter and most people won't care but it always made me feel annoyed, so I told a friend directly that I hate that she did that and after that, she remained respectful towards me. We're still close friends until today.

You should also learn to say no and don't let your friend to guilt trip you. Be firm with her and don't let yourself be controlled by her as I can see that most of the problem that you had with her is because of that pushy personality of hers.

2. If you think that remaining friends would only be detrimental for you, you can distance yourself little by little. You don't have to completely break everything off if you find it hard to do so, especially because she has no friends, but you can reduce the amount of time you spend alone together.

Distancing yourself from her could also make you realize the good aspects of her as a friend as you are no longer suffocated by your dislike of her pushy personality and that might even help salvage a bit of your friendship even if it would not end up making everything alright again.

At the end of the day, I can't really make the decision for you because I am not in your shoes and giving advice is easier said than done. But I really hope this helped shed some light on what you can do.

Lots of love,

The Advice Column Team