The Advice Column IV

775

Advice Request
This person has a friend who makes them uncomfortable.

Answered Submission
Hey!

When someone starts acting all too familiar with you, it's normal to feel uncomfortable. You're not wrong in wanting to distance yourself or in feeling upset over their actions. I genuinely do believe that you should tell the girl that 'Yes, I did say your male friend is cute but that does not mean I feel comfortable with you making a story out of us. I don't like the idea of the story being based on us, please don't do that.' Or tell her straight up about another thing she does that makes you feel bad.

It's pretty simple to say and it's completely not offensive. Friends should be honest with one another. I think it should be addressed because this can go two ways: One, she tells you off and gets mad at you. Or two, she understands you being uncomfortable and apologizes. If the latter situation happens and she understands, you can try to be more open with her when it comes to correcting her mistakes. The mistakes include her talking over you, being rude, being too inappropriate, lying. Correct them and tell her slowly one by one that you dislike such traits of hers.

However, there's a chance she still does such rude actions or is not cool about you correcting her or gets mad at you. In this case, I would suggest keeping a safe distance from her if she does that. You can talk to her when both your mothers are talking together. If it's a family and friends gathering, you can talk to her. But at school or outside school and if you're alone, maintain a safe distance. If she texts you, send one word or dry replies; try to not reply or keep her on read if possible. If she says inappropriate remarks or jokes, don't respond to her and just don't have much reactions, try to keep a poker face. If she talks over you, let her talk a bit and then talk over her by continuing your previous words. If she lies, don't show her much reaction and just say 'Oh cool' or 'That sounds fake' and move on to the next topic.

All in all, I hope the friend is understanding and tries to improve her behavior. Please do compromise sometimes if she's trying her best and still makes mistakes. But even if she is understanding and still makes such remarks or acts overly familiar, if you still feel uncomfortable and awkward, maintaining distance would be for the best. You don't need to cut her off completely yet. Even if your parents are friends, you don't need to be, you can just greet her every now and then with a quick hi, simple smile and be done with the conversation and go somewhere else.

Good luck! Hope it works in your favor.

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team