The Advice Column IV

653

Advice Request
This person is having some family issues.

Answered Submission
Hello,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, and my deepest condolences for your sister. I know these last few years must have been rough for you. Sometimes, we get a raw deal in life, but trust me when I say it will all find it's place. Unfortunately though, there is nothing much you can do beside push through it.

Your mother and father have a lot of issues between them that you can't fix. The best thing for you to do is to keep studying and working hard for your future success. You are strong and determined, and there is no doubt in my mind that you can fight through this storm.

As for your father, he has made his choices. He chose his path, and now he has to deal with the consequences. You have no reason to feel guilty for not wanting to stay with him. You've done nothing wrong in this situation, and there is nothing wrong with how you feel about it. And yes, you have every right to be angry with him for lying and hurting your family, but that doesn't change that you still love him. You can be livid with someone, but that doesn't take away the base of the relationship.

I suggest you speak with your mother about your feelings about staying with your father, and try to gather your thoughts, but then perhaps confide in a trusted friend or relative to talk to about the entire situation. Because your mother has a biased opinion on your father and the situation, I do not thing it would be best to talk to her about your feelings on it unless you have no other option. I would much rather you talk to someone than bottle your emotions up, so if your mom is the only one you feel you can talk to then by all means. Just keep in mind that she most likely has her own very strong opinions on this whole thing based on the pain she has been through. Not to minimise or disregard your pain, I just mean that she was affected in a different way than you were by your father's actions. She may not, but chances are she will not have anything good to say about your father, which may put a much more negative picture of him in your head. I wouldn't that someone else to influence your own decision. 

My advice to you is this: work hard. Study. Do well in school so that you can build your own success. And perhaps the most important, talk to someone about how you feel. Do not keep your stress and negative emotions inside, because it will tear you down on the inside. I wish you all the best, my dear, and if you need any more advice, feel free to reach out to us again.

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team