The Advice Column IV

746

Advice Request
This person's crush is acting in a fake way.

Answered Submission
Hello,
Crushes can be difficult sometimes, can't they? It seems yours is no exception to this. So to summarize, you like this boy, he found out and told you he felt the same, but at the same time told others that he was just playing with you. You fought and after some time he told you he regrets what he did and actually has a crush on you. You still like him, but you're unsure about the situation.

Well dear, the best advice I can give you here is to trust your gut. If it feels fake, if something's fishy, drop it and walk away. You don't need that sort of stress in your life, and ultimately, what's done is done. It would be very difficult to trust his words when he has been ingenuine towards you in the past, and if you were to pursue a relationship with him that would be a big problem for the two of you. Trust is one of the most important pillars of a relationship, and without it, the relationship is bound to crumble.

From my perspective, your best course of action is to tell him that you're not looking for a relationship right now. You don't have to tell him you don't like him like that anymore, or anything like that. if you want to, you can tell him that you aren't sure you can believe him due to his past actions, and that's a consequence he has to deal with. And you can accept his words and/or feelings without receiving or reciprocating them. You are in no way obligated to date him or even to believe him. So if he is coming off as very fake, then leave him and his feelings where they are. You don't want a relationship, mic drop, walk away. You don't owe any explanations except any you choose to give. If you want to explain your point of view to him you are absolutely able to, but if you want to rest in ambiguity that's fine too. Ultimately, the choice is yours what you want to do.

So to summarize me this time, trust your gut. Don't enter any sort of relationship with a person you can't trust or who comes off as fake or ingenuine to you. And don't feel obligated to give or receive any more than you want to.  I hope this helps, love. Come back any time for more advice!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team