Behind The Scenes

61. Jo

I haven't kissed anyone. I haven't kissed anyone.
This sentence haunts me from the moment I uttered it.
Why doesn't he believe me? He trusts Jessica and not me... What's wrong with him?
It's clear that this is a trap, how can he not understand it? Jessica wants him, ever since they met at the nightclub, and Liam wants me, ever since our paths crossed by accident. Liam is a handsome boy, but his eyes show nastiness. He's mysterious, he speaks little, maybe I'm wrong and he's just shy.
Jessica is a beautiful girl too: she has dark, long straight hair, tanned skin, slender legs, small breasts, narrow waist, she looks like a ballerina. She's not bad after all, I remember the time she hugged and calmed me after a worm of man tried to harass me, but sometimes I don't like how she acts, she is vain. When she briefly told me about her first time with Hero... it was missing a little and I would have slapped her. She was every Hero's first time, they tried them all together.
Now he believes her, and not me. I'm the first one he should trust, and instead...
I hear Hero's voice in the distance.
But what time is it? Six in the morning, it's still a bit dark.
I turn the other side looking for Hero, but he's not there.
"Hero?" I call him with a voice thick with sleep. "Hero?"
"What?!" he yells. He's on the balcony.
I jump up and go out. "What are you doing?" I rub my eyes.
He runs a hand through his hair and then massages the back of his neck forcefully, his gaze lost in space. He looks really angry. "Come back inside," he orders me.
Fuck it.
"Hero, who are you talking to?" I ask worried, approaching him.
"I asked if you kindly go inside, thank you," he repeats slowly and pushes me away gently.
"No." I approach again to try to understand who he's talking to.
It's Liam's voice.
"I already told you it's written, she won't stay with you forever, she'll get tired of it," he tells him.
What?
"Hand me the phone," I say harshly, in a low voice.
He continues to stare into space and is silent.
I take it from his hands.
"Liam."
On the other side, nothing is heard. Then, he suddenly replies. "Josephine."
I squeeze the balcony railing tightly. "What did you tell him?" I burst out.
Hero is leaning against the wall, his gaze still lost.
Liam doesn't speak... coward.
"He told me..." Hero begins to say. "He told me..." he can't continue.
"What did he tell you?" I encourage him to continue, speaking softly to him. He is very shaken.
"He said... you threw yourself on him... you started rubbing and..."
"No no, what?!"
I can not believe.
"Liam, go fuck yourself, never let me hear you again," I end the call and immediately put his cell phone on the table.
I turn to Hero, he is shocked. He quickly wipes a tear away. It breaks my heart to see him like this.
I take his face in my hands and stroke his cheeks with my thumbs, a little rough due to his thin beard. I look into his eyes for a few seconds. "Do you believe him?"
He doesn't answer. It's impossible for him to believe him...
"Do you believe him?" I repeat more slowly.
He looks at me, saying nothing, but his lip trembles.
I feel my eyes are filling with tears, I try to push them back.
He shakes his head.
I feel a feeling of relief. If he had believed him—
He suddenly kisses me, taking my face with jealousy. His tongue searches for mine and fills my mouth, it's possessive.
"Promise it won't happen again," I tell him, breathing hard.
"I promise, but I can't assure you one hundred percent."
I know this, it's hard to keep a promise like that.
I nod and kiss him again with transport.
"I haven't slept, I'm very tired," he informs me. In fact, it can be seen, he has very dark circles under his eyes.
He picks up the phone and goes inside.
"Baby, your phone is ringing, it's your sister."
Baby... I love it when he calls me that.
"Oh yes." I answer: "Kath, good morning."
She chuckles. "Good morning to you, here it's 4:00 p.m.. So how's it going?"
Well, we just cleared up a mess.
"Good," I say simply "to you?"
"We miss you so much, when are you coming to visit us?"
I've been thinking about going home to Perth for a while, but I haven't talked to Hero about it yet.
"I don't know, I have to talk to Hero about it, to figure out if he wants to come or not."
Hero glances at me and I wave my hand to him to say: "Later."
"Okay, fine."
We continue to talk a little more about everything and when I hang up the call, Hero is asleep. A strand of hair falls on his forehead and I gently move it. As soon as I touch him, he smiles.
"You know I love you, but sometimes I don't feel good enough for you. You could have better," he says with his eyes closed, in a hoarse voice.
I kiss his head. "You're wrong. You are everything I want," and I mean it.