Behind The Scenes

64. Jo

Oh shit, I'm so nervous. I am not psychologically ready to face a journey of more than a day. 22 hours of flight time, plus the time I will spend sitting at Starbucks drinking coffee during stopovers.
I'm not ready to leave Hero here alone until he leaves for London. I really wished he had come with me, but I don't want to force him. In fact he is right, two months in Australia with my family is far too long. I could have stayed even less, but just two weeks don't make up for those two overall days of flight. I don't go there once every two months, so give it to me.
However, I know that he'll make it, he doesn't need me to live. We will talk every day, but I will miss him very much in any case. Two months without being able to hug him, talk to him live, touch him, without feeling his warm body against mine, our breaths that merge and his heartbeat. I will miss every tiny detail of him.

I'm ready to go. The suitcases are full, I have the passport... I think nothing is missing.
"Baby, did you get everything?" Hero asks me, he is leaning against the door. "I'm literally dying of sleep," and he yawns.
"Yes, I think I have it all. I'm ready." I'm not mentally ready, though. I feel like canceling everything just at the thought of all those hours of flight... Why can't Australia be nearby? Ugh.
I open the door, drag the hand luggage out and use it to stop the elevator doors.
"Pass me the backpack too," Hero puts the largest suitcase in the elevator too.
I hand him the backpack and he puts it on his shoulders.
I too am dying of sleep, but I have to keep it for the plane, otherwise the only thing I can do in all those hours is to cut my veins.
Hero had already moved the car close to the apartment, so we just had to put the suitcases in the trunk.
"So, how do you feel?" he questions. He has one hand on my thigh and drives one-handed.
"Mhm?" I was distracted from the road.
"How do you feel?" he repeats, squeezing my thigh a little.
"Well, I'm just not ready for 22 hours of flight, that's all." He'll have noticed that I'm a bit nervous.
I turn to look at him. He's so handsome right now. His hair is messy, and his lips are still swollen and pink with sleep.
On the highway it reflects the little light of dawn, it's almost five thirty in the morning and the sky is purple.
He doesn't say a word.
"Everything okay?" I ask him, putting a hand on his, which is still on my leg.
He nods, his eyes on the road, absent. Then he finally opens his mouth and speaks, "It's just that I'm going to miss you a lot and..." he leaves the sentence hanging.
"And...?" I encourage him to continue.
"Listen, Jo, I so trust you, but promise me that if you're going to get drunk you won't do anything stupid."
What?
"Okay... but why are you telling me this?" I'm confused.
"I... I don't know, but promise me, please."
"I promise you, but I just want to know why," I shrug, as if it was superficial. Instead it is not at all.
"I don't know, you just do it," he repeats.
But I know he knows. He's been silent most of the way, so he must have thought about it.
"I know you. Tell me why, come on."
He doesn't answer and keeps his gaze on the road.
"Hero, you can tell me, it's just me, you know this, right?" I try to reassure him, and it works.
"Okay." He parks the car before explaining himself.
I still have more than two and a half hours of time, so he can rest easy and use this time to the fullest.
He turns to look at me and puts his hands on mine. "Last night— do you remember the bad dream I had?"
I nod. I remember it all right, he was going to have a panic attack, but luckily it didn't happen.
"Well, it wasn't just a bad dream... it was a fucking nightmare. It was awful," he breaks eye contact and looks at our hands.
"What was it about?"
He sighs. "We were on our way home, and you were next to me, but when I turned the key to open the door, you suddenly disappeared. I looked for you everywhere and finally in the bedroom. Liam..."
Oh no. I already understand.
"You can leave it alone if you want, it's not necessary..." I begin to say.
He raises a hand between us and cuts me off. "No, let me finish. I was saying, Liam was between your legs. He was fucking you."
OMG...
He continues, "Hard. At our home and in our bed. "
"Shit..." I whisper.
"It was terrible. You said you fucking loved him," he runs a hand through his hair. "Do you know how insecure it makes me feel?"
I understand it, I understand it perfectly.
I put my hands on the back of his neck and force him to look at me. "Hero, I'll never love anyone else as I love you, this is forever."
"How do you know it?" he asks softly.
"I just know. Now stop thinking about that dream." I straddle him and move the seat back to make more space. I put my hands under his shirt and kiss him.
"Babe, we can't here and now," he gasps as I kiss his neck.
"Why not?"
"You have to go."
"Exactly. I'm here for just a few more minutes, and I want you to fuck me as hard as you should, and stop thinking about that dream."
I can't believe my words. Neither does he.
"Oh shit. I love this dirty talk. You drive me mad."
"I know..." I bring my lips close to his, but I don't kiss him.
He tries to kiss me, and I go away. "Don't waste your time, honey. We won't be able to touch for nearly two months and now I'm rock hard."
I can feel his erection growing under me. "Do you have a condom?"
He takes it out of his pocket immediately. He raises his hips to lower his pants and boxers. I find it hard to lower mine. I should have put on a dress.
"Can you help me..."
He immediately manages to lower my suit and panties on the calves.
He puts on a condom. "I want you so bad..." he whispers on my neck as he enters me. "Oh Holy Mother."
I feel fuller every time he fills me like this. He fills every part of me.
I move on him at a leisurely pace. Then I check the time on the dashboard and accelerate.
"Oh God, you're so tight around me..."
I love when he moans and gasps and talks to me like this. I too must admit that dirty words increase the level of rush.
I moan slowly. "Hero..." I bite my lower lip so hard it almost bleeds. "You know... oh my... you know I love you to death."
"Yeah, I know," he replies with heavy breathing.
It dies of heat in this car and the window is fogged up. Our bodies together emit a lot of heat. We burn for each other. I burn for him, always.
My legs start shaking and...
"I came," Hero informs me with labored breathing.
"Yes me too." I put my head on his shoulder and he strokes my back. "It's been..."
"Hot," he adds.
Well, I was going to say romantic, but I guess 'hot' is more appropriate indeed.
"You have to hurry, or you'll be late."
True, I almost forgot that I still have a billion things to do.
I get off him and lift my panties and pants. After I have done the checks, I will go to the bathroom to change immediately.
Hero has settled down, put the condom in a dirty plastic cup and is now taking my bags.
"I have to throw this thing away." He walks over to a garbage can with the plastic cup in hand and throws it away.
Upon entering the airport, Hero is waiting for me near the start of the queue while I check-in and board the largest baggage.
"This is the part I feared the most," he tells me once in front of the departures entrance.
I throw myself into his arms and hug him tightly on tiptoe. I almost dropped him. "Me too."
"How am I going to make it without you, huh?" he says giggling, but I notice his eyes are shining.
"You'll make it." I kiss him and a tear falls on my face. "I'll miss you a lot."
He looks at me for a moment and starts kissing me again. He parts my lips with his tongue and tickles with mine.
I break the kiss. "I have to go."
My body is wrapped in his strong embrace.
He licks his lips. "I know. Just one more," and he kisses me again.
He lets me go. I grab my trolley by the handle and drag it behind me. I turn to him and wave at him with one hand.
"I love you baby! See you soon, right?" he screams from afar.
I giggle and blow him a kiss. He pretends to grab it and then kisses the palm of his hand. I love when he does these things.
Time to go, we'll get over this too.