Behind The Scenes

92. Jo

We were silent all the way because a million thoughts crowded into my mind and I couldn't find the words to break the silence.
What if he doesn't want me anymore? Does he do it to provoke me? What if he's just playing with my feelings?
I'm paranoid, yes.
These are my biggest doubts, they continue to haunt me.
What if I am doing a stupid thing?
Enough, I need to turn off the brain.
I'm in my hotel room and just got out of the shower. I put on a fleece pajama that has a sort of white sweatshirt as a shirt and wide pants, pink and with white flowers.
I need... I don't know, maybe a drink. I don't want to think anymore.
I head for the door and when I open it I find Hero in front of me. He was about to knock.
"Hey, hi," he just says.
I look away from his eyes. "Um, hi. Did you need something?"
He looks around. "No... I thought you wanted to talk to me," he reminds me.
"Oh, yeah..." I don't know what else to say. I remain silent on the threshold of the door.
This is awkward.
"Well, where are you going?" he asks me.
"I... um, just wanted to have a drink," I shrug.
He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you okay?" He knows me so well...
"Yes. Just a drink."
I know it's probably not appropriate, but maybe getting drunk in company is better than alone.
"Would you like to have one with me?" I invite him after thinking about it for a few seconds.
"Oh alright."
I close the door and put the key in the front pocket of my sweatshirt-pajama.
We go into the elevator and I press the 0 button. There is a mirror in here, I take this opportunity to fix the messy bun I made before leaving the room.
"I cannot believe it..." Hero suddenly says. I feel his eyes on me.
"What?"
"That you're mine," Hardin would have replied.
"That we are in New York together."
I smile. "Oh, yeah, I'm glad."
The elevator goes down quickly, but it will be a dozen floors.
He sighs. "It was supposed to be our next stop," he says softly, with a hint of melancholy.
"Right, that's true." I look at the reflection of him in the mirror. The bright lights of this elevator make his green eyes shine, but his gaze is off and he is looking down.
I turn to him and force him to look at me, I take his wrist. "What's wrong?"
He shakes his head and swallows. "Nothing I'm fine." He tries to smile, but I can see in his eyes that something is wrong.
"It's not true. Hero... I know the situation is... strange and confusing, but it's still me," I take his face in my hands and caress his cheekbones "your Jo, okay?"
He hints at an imperceptible smile.
"You just have to tell me what the problem is and we'll try to solve it together."
Anna is right, we need to learn to help each other and communicate better.
He puts his hands on mine and moves them away from his face. He brings them to her mouth and kisses them softly, while he looks me straight in the eyes. I blink several times, I struggle to keep eye contact, his gaze is so penetrating and magnetic, it attracts me like a magnet.
"It's just that..." he starts to say. "I miss everything we had before."
I release a breath that I didn't know I was holding.
The elevator doors open, and the moment is ruined. Great timing.
He releases my hands and we go find the bar. As we walk I am two steps ahead of him, with my arms crossed, and he follows me.
"I think it's this way," he points to a corridor. Now I follow him.
But there is no sign of a bar. It's just another corridor with rooms.
"Hero, we are wrong. I don't think it's here," I tell him, and sit down in one of the gilded fabric armchairs. He leans his back against the wall, next to me. He's so tall...
I look at him from below with a slight smile on my lips.
He frowns. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I don't know... you are very tall."
He chuckles and shakes his head. He looks around and turns the corner. "What is it here?"
I get up and go to him. There is a narrow door with a darkened window. "Here? I don't..."
He puts his hand on the handle and lowers it, turns and looks at me.
"Hero... what do you want to do?" I think that's some sort of closet.
He opens the door. It is dark.
"Come!" he whispers, taking my wrist and dragging me in there with him.
"You're out of your mind!" I whisper giggling.
"Shh!"
I do not see anything. I button with my hands around me and touch a shelf, perhaps. "Hero? Where are you?"
I think he too is looking for something with his hands, I hear him fiddling with some object.
"Hero?" I look for him again, because silence has fallen.
I'm in a cold sweat. Maybe I touched his shirt.
"Hi!" he exclaims lighting a torch between us, then he bursts out laughing.
"My God!" He scared the shit out of me, oh my.
He laughs again.
I look at him badly. "It's not funny."
"It is."
I snort and push him.
Yes, it's a cleaning room. There are brooms, detergents, sheets... everything.
Hero is still amused by his genius a little while ago.
"Stop it, I swear I'll hit you with a broom," I grab one and threaten him.
He makes a sarcastic laugh. "Oh yeah? You won't do anything to me with that," he says confidently, leaning against the door.
I get closer. He keeps the flashlight pointed upward. "Are you underestimating me?" I tell him defiantly. "You don't know what you're going through with me..."
I've cornered him now. We are very close, almost my body touches his. He grins and licks his lips while he looks at mine. We should stop doing this, but I don't want to.