Behind The Scenes

74. Hero

Now that we're dressed, I want to give her my Christmas present before we go downstairs.
"Jo."
She is finishing tying her shoes. "Yes?"
I walk up to her with a wrapped box and a bow on it. "I have something for you."
When I give it to her, her eyes shine and she smiles. "You shouldn't have," she says, starting to untie the ribbon.
"That's the least I can do," and I put a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"On my God!" she exclaims, and she hugs me. "How... how did you get this copy? This is us!"
I gave her all the After books and asked Anna to have a copy printed with the cover of the film, I am infinitely grateful to her for that. But the surprise didn't stop there.
"Look at the first two pages," I tell her.
She leafs through them and begins to read my words in a low voice:
"'Dear Jo,
As a kid I never believed that love could exist, I found it stupid, banal, one of those things that exists only in films and in those hundreds of pages long novels.
But we know that life can sometimes surprise. One day I was accepted to play the role of Hardin Scott, and that day was a turning point in my life. I remember once thinking, "I have nothing in common with this character, just... we look alike." But now I think we have a lot of things in common. Yes, you're right, I don't even have a tattoo, I didn't have a complicated past, I don't like reading, I don't go to university... but if you think about it, it only takes one thing to make us look alike: we both found the right person. I found my Tessa. Hardin and I are not perfect — and you and Tessa know it very well —, we can be very stupid and irrational at times, we are insecure, we can make you suffer, we often make mistakes, we say things we don't think, but one thing is sure, we love you madly. Jo, you are my Tessa, and I hope to be your Hardin. I found the woman of my life, the perfect one for me. I don't know why, but I just know that you are. You are the first person who made me hope for a happy future, who made me fantasize about a future with you, as you walk to the altar in a beautiful white dress and tears in your eyes, with a beautiful house who knows where — I don't care —, smiles, the laughter of our children and the knowledge of loving each other. This is what I want, if you want it someday. Can you imagine it? I always imagine it, and I feel like crying just thinking about it and while I write these words, surely confused and devoid of complete meaning, but I know that you will understand them. You were the first to invade my dreams and torment my every nerve. You are part of me, and there is not a single moment when I do not feel connected to you, because I am yours, I have been yours from the first moment and I'll always be if this is what makes you happy. I just want you to be happy, okay?
I love you, Jo. I love you with all my heart, always.
Merry Christmas,
Hero.'" She's in tears when she finishes reading, and so am I shit. "I... I don't..." she bursts into sobs and she throws herself into my arms, wetting my shirt with tears.
"Excuse me if maybe something was confusing and meaningless, but I'm not nearly as good at this as Hardin." I stroke her hair.
"No. No, it was perfect, everything perfect. You couldn't have chosen better words." She looks into my eyes for a few seconds, then I take her face in my hands and kiss her passionately.
She breaks away to whisper on my lips, like the first time, "I love you, Hero."
I smile and another tear falls down my cheek.
"And yes," she says, "this is what makes me happy," and she kisses me again.
When she looked at me earlier, that look said more than a thousand words could ever say, but at the same time it scared me. I couldn't bear to lose her, but it won't happen.