Behind The Scenes

62. Jo

When my alarm goes off at noon, Hero yells. "I hate this fucking alarm clock! Turn it off."
He makes me laugh when he does that, he really hates it.
"Okay okay, now I'll turn it off," I giggle.
I turn to turn it off and— "Oh my God!" I yell. I didn't realize I was practically on the edge of the bed.
"What are you doing!" Hero laughs as he helps me up. "I didn't realize we were hugging right here. We had a whole bed available!" he keeps laughing, and the alarm goes off again.
I don't turn it off until he notices it, I want to see his reaction. I stand in front of the bedside table, look at him, with my hands on my hips.
"So? Do you turn this thing off or not?" he says irritated.
I burst out laughing and turn it off.
"Long last!" he exclaims him. "But then, sorry, didn't I change it?"
Oh shit. He remembered that.
"No, you're wrong." Instead he is not wrong in the least. I can not hold back a giggle, I am too little credible like that.
"I get the impression you're kidding me, aren't you?"
I try to keep myself from laughing, but I fail.
"I'm not that stupid, I remember I changed it," he says as I continue to laugh.
"Okay, you won, you're right."
He smiles satisfied and I lie back on the bed.
Then one thing comes to mind.
"What's up?" he asks me seeing my expression.
"I should take the pill."
He looks down. "Oh, yeah, that's right."
"It's okay, don't worry," I assure him. I know he feels sorry for me, he knows I don't feel very good when I take it. Except when we were in London, I was fine all in all.
"Are you sure you want to take it?"
What?
"Hero, it's not a question of wanting, I have to. You know we can't have a baby right now."
I can't believe he actually said that.
"Yeah, you're right..." he pauses. "Sorry, I don't listen to my words when I speak. I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter. I promise you, someday. But not now. We just have more story to tell, you know."
"Yes I know." He darkened a little.
I get up and go to the kitchen, leaving him in his thoughts in the bedroom.
I have some pills at home, I bought them last time, when Hero also bought condoms.
I take one and swallow it with a sip of water.
I need to talk to him about Perth today, as soon as possible. I want to go home.
                                       ***
We spent the day doing literally nothing. We are still shaken by yesterday's day and today's morning. The only thing Hero has made are the crêpes. He made them out of the blue in the afternoon and we ate one, it was delicious.
Now we're cuddling on the couch as the Spider-Man: Homecoming! credits roll by.
Hero stands up. "I want a crêpe, do you want one too?" he asks me.
I nod, I'm a little hungry.
A few minutes later he comes back with two empty crêpes and a jar of Nutella in his hand. He puts everything on the table and starts spreading the Nutella with a butter knife. He is putting a ton!
"Hero, enough!" I chuckle. "You want to make me fat." Seriously.
"Nah. Here you go," he puts the crêpe in front of me and I thank him.
We eat our crêpes laughing and chatting about the film, then Hero asks, "What are we watching now?"
"What do you think of Black Panther? It came out in January, I think."
We agree to see this film, we search for it in streaming, but before we start watching it I have to talk to him about Perth.
"Hey, I need to talk to you about something first."
He sighs. "Yes, I imagine."
"Well, um..." I start to say.
"Go on," he encourages me to continue.
"I would... I would like to go home. I've actually been thinking about it for a while, but I wanted to be sure before I told you about it..." I don't know why I feel so nervous about this.
"Okay, fine."
Fine? Mhm...
"Yup. Would you come with me for Christmas?"
I know it is a bit excessive request, but I might as well try.
"For Christmas," she repeats.
I nod.
He looks down thoughtfully. "When are you going to leave?"
"Next week, maybe."
And I also know it's early, yes. But I want to stay there a long time and I want to come back here for New Year's, so leaving now would be perfect.
"When?!" he says incredulous.
"Next week," I repeat.
He massages the back of his head, which means he's nervous. "Jo... I don't know."
"Even in two weeks, if you prefer." I want him to come with me, I want to introduce him to my family.
"No, that's not it. I know you want to spend a lot of time with your family, but I can't stay... How long do you want to stay there?"
Shit, I knew.
"Until December 28th, so I can come back here for New Year's. If you don't want to come, at least we can start the new year together. If you want to come, however, we'll stay until after New Year's."
He looks around and torments his nails with his teeth. I take his hands and move them away from his mouth, it bothers me when he does that.
"I... Jo, I don't think—"
I interrupt him, "I know this is too much to ask, but please, can you give me this Christmas present?" I beg him, in a sweet voice.
Now he massages the nape of his neck again. "I think... I think not, really. I'm sorry, but I can't come with you for almost two months. My family is waiting for me for Christmas too, baby."
I remain a bit disappointed and he notices it.
"I know it sucks, but we can part ways for Christmas and see each other again on New Year's. Do you think it might be good for you?"he proposes.
I nod. "Yeah, I think yes."
"You know I will miss you so much, but I'll call you every day. A good morning and a good night phone call, and some messages during the day. Will you be able to deal with it for two months?" He takes my face in his hands and rubs his nose with mine.
I nod again. "I can do it," I giggle.
"Perfect then. Let's watch this movie now, let's not worry about it anymore, okay?"
"Okay."
We lie back on the sofa and start watching the movie.
I already know that I will miss him so much.